Do I need to identify the birth father to go through with an adoption?
ByI’m 20 weeks pregnant with a child conceived from rape and I’m considering adoption as a possible alternative to raising this child. I didn’t report the rape because I didn’t want the added stress, along with being pregnant. Do I need to let the father know I’m pregnant and that I intend on giving the child up for adoption in order to process an adoption? What are my options in this situation?
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11 Comments
April 27th, 2010 at 1:45 am
i am so sorry for ur experience. well done on deciding to have the child and at least giving him or her a chance at life, it is not her fault what her ‘father’ did to u. i am no expert, but i think that if u do not report the rape and if the father finds out that this child is his and decides he wants her, he may be able to contest it and if u say then that u were raped it could be used against u. i dont know. but u can leave the birth cert blank i think. u should get legal advice on this. good luck.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:02 am
Just say you don’t know———–better than going through all that other stuff.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:58 am
the father if he found out could try to get her. and if you came out with your story then they might not believe you. i dont think he would really try because he would want everyone to find out. and i am so sorry you had to deal with this. god bless u! im extremly happy that you did not consider abortion.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:58 am
Usually, the birth father of record has a say in the adoption process. That is, he has to sign off. But as to identifying him…
Please contact an attorney or legal aid on this one only because it would protect you and this child in the future.
I’m not sure it’s too late to report the rape. I am so sorry that happened to you. I’ve never been through anything like that so forgive my ignorance…but can you handle reporting it so it goes on record. That way, it can help you protect yourself and any decision you make.
Even if you say “you don’t know”, he might do the math and ask for a paternity test in which case, you are in the same dilemma. That’s why I think it’s safest to get legal advice.
All the best.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:42 am
No if you have been Raped you DO NOT have to get he’s consent, even if you did not report it to the police. The Father in that case is a criminal and the court will press charge if he trys to intervene. So you do not have to worry about your Adoption process being a problem without his consent.
Please go to the Web site below and this will help you….
http://myspace.com/clearwatermaillady
April 27th, 2010 at 3:44 am
There are ways around identifying the father in extenuating (sp?) circumstances. When I was adopted, my bfather was in vietnam. He was a helicopter pilot back then. He knew my bmom was pregnant. Also, in your case there would be the circumstances for the rape. In cases of rape, reported or not, you are not required to identify the father for many reasons, the main one being he might come back and try it again if he is made mad again.
April 27th, 2010 at 4:37 am
If you know who he is, you need to get his signature. You didn’t report the rape, so as far as the law is concerned, he has every right to that baby as someone who purposefully conceived the baby. You can’t give the baby up without his consent, so I suggest you get a lawyer and see if he’ll sign over his parental rights. If you pursue adoption and successfully give up the baby, he could overturn the adoption and have full custody, your rights will be terminated by that time. It seems your best bet for the baby living in a safe environment is with you, otherwise you risk him raising her.
April 27th, 2010 at 4:45 am
“Do I need to let the father know I’m pregnant and that I intend on giving the child up for adoption in order to process an adoption?”
You dont “need” too let him know anything. I’m only suggesting that because you were raped. Although I believe in father rights just as much as anyone else, in a situation like this I can see how much power he can or could have over you and the child just by knowing.
If you do tell him then he must give consent as the courts will believe he in the father. Depending on which country and state your from the following may give some insight to what is seen as a legal parent.
• A person whose name is on the child’s birth certificate
• A man who was cohabitating with the mother at the time of the birth
• A man who had been cohabitating with the mother at the time of conception
• A man named in a Family Court Order as the father
• A man sworn to be the father in a statutory declaration
• A man whose paternity has been proved by medical testing.
if you are serious about putting this child up for adoption then look into Dispensation of Consent.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:34 am
No, You don’t.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:10 am
Your best bet is to check with a lawyer. A lawyer would be able to tell you what your options are. And I am sure the statue of limitations has not run out on the crime he committed. So please, report the rape.
Good luck! I am so sorry you had to experience such a horrendous act.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Hello,
I just answered one of your other questions. I can refer you to a social worker that can help. You can contact me at kerbearjo@yahoo.com if you want a referral! God Bless you!