Do you really believe an adopted child will live a fairytale life??

I have 2 adopted children in addition to my biological children. My kids came to me through the foster care system because they were given up by their parents. You are right, it is not sa cut and dry as others make it out to be. There are absolutely lots of loving families out there who would take care of that child well but my kids went through hell before I got them. My adopted son was abused as an infant. As a toddler… I just cant even talk about the things that happened its too painful.

I was a surrogate mother too… for a friend. Let me tell you, its the hardest thing in the world to give a child up.

As far as the abortion thing, if a mother wants to have the baby and give it up, fine, but I dont think that anyone has the right to push adoption on someone. Every woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, everyone else just needs to stay out of it.

No, adopted children do not have fairytale lives. But they have a shot at living a NORMAL life instead of being the long-suffering child of someone who probably can’t take care of herself, much less a baby. I want to cry just thinking about these poor kids whose moms are practically babies themselves.

The horrible “foster” scenario you’re describing is rarer than tv would lead you believe. And babies who are given up by their mothers often spend little or no time in state care since they are in such demand by childless couples. Other children, those who are taken from their parents because they are being abused or neglected, are often far better off in foster care than at their previous homes.

I’m sure it’s heartbreaking to part with a child after carrying him for 9 months (as a mother of 2, I have trouble imagining doing it). But there’s a point at which keeping a baby you can’t care for out of sentimental attachement becomes selfish because it isn’t in the best interest of the child.

While I’m a big supporter of adoption and have close friends of the family who are going through the difficult process of adoption, I understand that you are right. Not every child lives a great life when adopted. A friend of mine was adopted when his parents thought they couldn’t conceive. Then their miracle baby came along and my friend was all of a sudden no where near as important to them as his brother. His father abused him and his mother would actually rub it in his face that he was adopted and lucky to even have a family.

Now that he is grown and out of the house though, he is happy and doing just great. I do believe that even though his life may not have been ideal, it was better than having been aborted as a fetus. He agrees.

It sounds like what you are against is people who say to give a baby up for adoption if the circumstances aren’t perfect. Several people thought I should have given my son up because I had him at 17. I do hate it when people assume that teen parents CANT raise a child and adoption is the better answer. I am constantly told that my son is doing great and better than alot of kids born to parents who were in their late 20’s. I honestly doubt anyone could have given him more love than I or his daddy have for him.

I guess what I’m saying is that for the most part, you are right. Adoption isn’t always the answer. Matter of fact, I always tell people that they should wait until at least halfway through their pregnancy to make a decision on one way or another. So much can change after feeling the first kicks and seeing the baby on an ultrasound. However, it is a better option for those who know they don’t want or can’t care for a baby. Better than trying to raise a child that they would resent or aborting.

well since i was adopted I can tell you I didn’t have a fairytale life but I had a good life. No one has a fairytale life whether adopted or not. I really don’t think anyone is suggesting that adoption leads to a fairytale life. A lot of the time people are suggesting adoption either as an alternative to abortion or when it is clear the baby would be born to someone not ready to parent. I think your assumptions that a child born and given up for adoption would lead a life of foster care or “go through the system” is a little inaccurate. While there are those that end up with abusive parents (and that is clearly awful) it isn’t as common as you make it sound. No one is saying giving a child up for adoption is easy either. Sometimes it is determining what is best for the baby not what is best for the mother. I think only women who are ready to do so and feel it is right should give their children up for adoption, but no one believes even in that situation it is easy.

EDIT**Gouhly05 makes a good point by the way. Perspective adoptive parents are put under the microscope and are expected to jump through tons of hoops before being approved for adoption. They not only have to prove they are financially stable enough but also they could provide a stable enviornment for the adoptive child. What scrutiny does someone not adopting go through..NONE. Just because you can physically have a child doesn’t always mean you should. That being said again…only women who feel it is right should give their child up for adoption.

You could try to sell the child, some people who can’t have kids will put up good money to have a kid.