How do I find out which adoption facilitators/agencies/attorneys are recommended by Birthparents?
ByWe need help finding the right adoption guidance. We are trying to research avenues to domestic open adoption. While we are able to readily find all of the facilitators and law centers with large advertising budgets we want to ensure that our potential birthparents are treated with respect and all promises made by the agency/facilitator/attorney to the potential birthparents are honored.
Related posts:
- How come adoption agencies and attorneys are allowed to profit from adoption?
- should potential birthparents be told that open adoption is not always legally enforceable???
- What would happen if agencies and attorneys were not allowed to use or agree to the term, “open” adoption?
- where do i start looking for adoption agencies?
- Adoption Network Law Center
4 Comments
April 8th, 2010 at 6:01 am
You don’t. Not many first Mothers will recommend anyone who helped/coerced them out of their child.
No one is “your birth mother” unless your natural mother is relinquishing you to adoption. Pre-birth matching is one of the most coercive tactics baby brokers use.
Please educate yourself on adoption- what is ethical (only foster care adoption) and how adoption will affect the adoptee.
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w...
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index….
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie
Oh, and most adoptees are insulted when people call our first Mothers “birth mothers”.
April 8th, 2010 at 6:11 am
Try contacting social services and see what they suggest. Also you can contact an adoption lawyer they can sometimes recommend a good agency.. Look in your phone book and on the internet and investigate the different agencies out there. Foster care is good but it isn’t the only way to adopt and there is nothing wrong with adopting an infant as all children deserve a home. There is nothing unethical about adopting an infant. But some agencies do have some unethical practices. Just do your research before you decide on which agency to use.
April 8th, 2010 at 7:02 am
You’re looking for a place to adopt where there is no advertising is used (to supply you with a child) and relinquishing parents are “honored”. I’d laugh if it weren’t so tragic and naive.
Adoption in N. America is a business. Big business. It’s no different than selling laundry soap or cars. People selling a product use any means necessary to get you to buy it and make you believe it’s needed. The only “problem” is that healthy infants (the kind you’re looking for, no doubt) are as rare as waterfront real estate–and you’ll pay a hefty premium, too.
If agencies and attorneys were concerned with “treat[ing] birthparents with respect”, they’d help these people figure out a way to help them keep their own children instead of procuring them for your *needs*, and your $30K, of course.
The only children who actually need parents are those who have already lost them–kids in foster care. You would not be “helping” an infant by coaxing it away from it’s mother. There isn’t a child on the planet who wouldn’t rather be with his MOTHER as opposed to a replacement. Period.
Do a little reading:
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html
Adoption studies:
http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psychopathstudies.htm
Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky
April 8th, 2010 at 7:36 am
Most agencies hold Natural mothers hostage after the adoption is finalized. They have the power to make sure we never see our children again. That was made very clear to me when I spoke out publicly. Your only hope of finding out what mothers think is to do it privately. Since I have a restraining order against them I will go ahead and say IAC is a load of crap. More than that would have to be in a private email.
Sunny has very good pointers on what unethical agencies do.I seriously doubt you will find any agency that honors mothers after the ink on the paper is dry. It is rare for them to even provide the help they promised. In most cases the mother is trash after they get the check from the PAPs