How do you explain chronic illness and adoption to a child?
ByI have Fibromyalgia and my wife has CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) We’ve both been suffering for a long time. We have a 5 year old child together whom we love very much, however because of our illness and her behavioral problems we will be giving her up for adoption this March.
What’s the best way to go about explaining to her why this is happening?
Are their any easy ways to explain these diseases to a child so they understand?
It’s very stressful. Thanks for your help.
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3 Comments
January 31st, 2010 at 1:58 am
I’m just curious.. but if both of you are suffering so bad, why did you have a child to begin with? It’s going to hurt your child, a lot, to find out that you’re just going to get rid of her. If you were going to give her up for adoption, you should have done it when she was a baby. No matter what you say to her, she’s going to be heartbroken.
I have Fibromyalgia too. Yes, really. And I don’t see how it would prevent you from caring for your child. It sucks sometimes, sure, but it’s not her fault you guys had/kept her.
Edit: I don’t think that girl down there read my last sentence. ITS NOT THE BABIES FAULT THEY KEPT HER. He said they’ve both been suffering for a long time, which I’m going to assume means more than a year or two. If it was that bad, they didn’t have to and shouldn’t have. kaaaaaay?
January 31st, 2010 at 1:59 am
You really can’t take care of her? And have no one in your family that can do it?
I’m terribly confused, how is the love for your child, your own flesh and blood, not powerful enough to overcome these obstacles. I think I would have to be dead before I would give up my baby. I know several people with CFS that lead essentially normal lives, with children and all. One is actually a single mom.
You will never be able to undo the damage of giving her up at a much older age than most adoptees, however my only advice is to tell her how much you love her and that you are too sick to love and take care of her as much as she deserves.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:25 am
i find it strange that someone with fms would tell someone else that they shoudl be able to take cae of a child despite the fms
i have fms–i can’t take care of a child–i had hoped to adopt a sibling group–but i can’t even take care of myslef ……..
anyone who really has fms understands that it is a spectrum–from being able to work and raise children (like i used to be able to do when i first had symtoms–to being bed ridden)
you don’t say you chose to have a child after becomiing so sick–you may have not been sick when you became parnets or honetsly thought you could do it.
who ever is handling the adoption should be helping with the transistion…its their job to know how to do it