What are the pros and cons of adoption and keeping your child?
ByI am out of school so do not worry with helping me with my homework. LOL. But my friend is pregnant and we were trying to do pros and cons for abortion, adoption, and keeping and raising the baby. I just wanted to know what others thoughts were.
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5 Comments
April 13th, 2010 at 1:57 am
Don’t do abortion that is a little baby inside her. Either keep the baby and raise it or go with adoption. We can’t really tell you the pros and cons on keeping the baby because, we don’t know her situation. Well a pro is she will love her child.
April 13th, 2010 at 2:29 am
Abortion–
PRO–you don’t have to go through physical changes of the pregnancy, the embarrassing questions (especially if you not keeping the baby), easy to get with fewer long term consequenses.
CON–physical discomfort, emotional stress, feelings of guilt, cost. Disapproval of others.
Adoption
PRO–A solution for when you aren’t ready to raise a baby but aren’t comfortable with abortion, little to no cost to the mother. You can pick the parents of the child. In many cases these days, you can do an open adoption where you can have some information or contact with the child. Some birth mother’s get report cards and yearly pictures, others get to actually visit the child. However, you can also choose a closed adoption if you want to protect your privacy but then you have no contact with the child unless you search for each other after he/she turns 18.
CON–Embarrassing questions by family and friends plus pressure to keep the baby, possibility of meeting the child at a later date (some this is a pro, for some this is a con), you need the birth father’s consent in many cases to finalize the adoption. Questions from the child asking why he/she was not kept. Emotionally draining, especially immediately after the birth.
KEEPING the baby
PRO–You have a baby, who does like babies? Unconditional love. Building your own family.
CON–Expensive (food, health, clothing, school), time-consuming (midnight feedings, school meetings, need machines), messy, exhausting, physical discomfort.
April 13th, 2010 at 3:29 am
Abortion-
Pros:
Sense of closure.
Don’t have to go through 9months of pregnancy and labor.
Chance to move on with your life and better prepare for the future.
Cons:
Pain for a few days after procedure.
Always wonder what the baby would have been like.
Judgement from uber religious people (who cares?)
Adoption-
Pros:
Get to see the baby on ultrasounds.
Cons:
Child grows up sad, wondering why they weren’t good enough.
You end up regretting your decision.
9months of pregnancy nothing to show for it.
Dozens of hours in labor.
Your child calls someone else mommy.
Miss all of the firsts.
Parenting-
Pros:
See baby grow up.
Feel love you never knew existed.
Cuddles.
Baby kisses.
Family.
Child grows up happy and content with real family.
Cons:
Teenage years.
Diaper changes.
In laws.
Hope she makes an informed choice. Adoption should be the last resort.
April 13th, 2010 at 3:44 am
abortion:
pros: closure, easier to get on with life
cons: sometimes regret, judgmental people, some pain
adoption:
pros: a chance to give him a shot at something wonderful, having the love in your heart, compleatly free for the birthmother and birthfather
cons: greiving, worrying if your child still loves you, a long process, the waiting for 18 years
parenting:
pros: making a family, being with your own baby for life, love
cons: disciplining your child, suffering when your child is when their sick, lack of sleep
April 13th, 2010 at 3:55 am
I am an adoptive mother, but also have four biological children. I also had an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager and had a miscarriage.
Let me say that any list you have is not going to be a good scale in weighing the pros and cons of any of those three choices.
Even tho I had a miscarriage and not an abortion, I can tell you that I still have emotional issues wrapped up in that pregnancy, the loss of it, and wonder what might have been. Rationally I know that becoming a mother at that age would not have been a good idea, nor do I think the person I got pregnant with was prepared for fatherhood. How something effects you at a young age will be completely different when you are in your 30s. I would have had a child graduating from highschool this year and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks.
As for adoption. I have seen all sides of it. Our son’s birthmother made what she felt at the time a wise and caring adoption plan for her baby, but she now regrets it. Our son who is only 8 struggles with being adopted but I know lots of children who do not. While in some situations it can be the very best thing for all, including the mother, its something you need to think long and hard about and you should strongly considering parenting if you think you will be a decent mother.
As for parenting a child. Its tough work! You will take on the biggest challenges of your life. You will be sleep deprived, your life will change, you will look in the mirror and ask yourself WTF? everyday. But I can tell you this, you will experience joy like you never will before. Love more than you thought was possible. And you will experience things that absolutely make your life complete. Then some days you will wake up and wonder what happened to your life and you will wonder who the hell you are?