Comments on: What is the best way to find an infant available for adoption?

By: twinsmama06

twinsmama06 — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:06:59 +0000

There are so many complications that can come up. Medical, financial, emotional. Why not have an agency take care of all those details for you and walk you through the process? So you are protected legally as well. I also think that the agencies are hooked up across America with churches, hospitals, other agencies, planned parenthood, and also do expensive advertising. The birthmother of our babies saw a billboard and called the agency – then was led to us (she didn’t have internet access at the time).

In my opinion – find an agency you are comfortable with, but also tell everyone you know that you are looking. If you find a match on your own then you bring the birthmother to the agency to take care of all the paperwork and living expenses for the birthmother. It is cheaper if you find your own match.

By: Carla F

Carla F — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:15:31 +0000

In my opinion, agency is the way to go……..my husband and I started our journey in September of 2005, our newborn daughter was placed with us May 2007. Our homestudy was completed in April 2006, so just a little over a year wait…….we are very blessed, our agency handled “everything”, truly, God’s angels on earth.

By: Mary G

Mary G — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:27:48 +0000

Gee here is an idea, how about not adopting a newborn? How about adopting an older child who really needs a good home? Perhaps from foster care? There are thousands of children in the system who need good stable homes. In most cases in the US all a mother needs to keep and parent her child is a little help, sadly what happens more often than not is a mother is helped right out of parenting her child! Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Are you infertile? Have you exhausted all treatement avenues if you are? (and yeah that industry is brutal as well) Before you adopt I ugrge you to read a great deal more and learn as much as you can about the natural family and what happens to them as a result of adoption. Open adoption is often a lie, they close almost as often as my front door does. Be careful for your sake and any childs you might adopt.

By: CINDY S

CINDY S — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:56:54 +0000

We adopted our infant out of the foster care system. He was 3 weeks old when he came to us. Yes it can be stressfull waiting for hearings etc. but it is all worth it. He is a perfect infant and we adore him. There is no money involved just the usual homestudy and social worker visits. Children out of the foster care system also recieve medical ins. until age 21 and an adoption subsidy. I don’t think people realize how many children under 2 are being placed this way. I am not sure about all states but in ours a mother has 6mos. to change her mind when doing a private adoption, so either way you take a risk.

By: concerned

concerned — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:59:16 +0000

Go through a good, ethical agency. You’ll have to do some serious searching to find one (and research ahead of time ethics in adoption–try this site as a starting place: http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/index.php ).

“Reputable” doesn’t always translate into “ethical,” either. There are some big-name agencies out there that have good reputations but that support some unethical practices, like closed records and putative father registries. An ethical agency will protect your rights AND the biological family’s rights AND be concerned for the interests of the child.

Good luck.

By: Heather H

Heather H — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:19:07 +0000

Through a reputable agency and be thorough about checking their practises to ensure you have an ethical adoption

There are alot of unethical practices in the adoption industry that you may not be aware of or feel comfortable with

All the best

By: Michele J

Michele J — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:20:06 +0000

You should go through a reputable agency. They are there to protect you as well as the birthmother. Both parties are taken care of emotionally through this bittersweet time.
I adopted my son 17 years ago and although it was the best thing I ever did, it was happy and sad at the same time. To see the anguish in his birthmothers face at dealing with her decision, knowing she was doing what was best for him and then unselfishly handing him to us….was agonizing for us!! We have never forgot that gift and what it costs her every day that he is with us…she knows he is happy, healthy and has had a great life…but she wasn’t there to enjoy him. It’s beautiful.
Our first adoption was almost arranged by my Gyno….but the birthmother took the baby back from us after a week…talk about horrible. I thought my heart had been ripped out! Then after signing with the agency, Jamey came to us almost 9 months later.
Adoption is a rollercoaster on both sides of the ride!

By: Colleen O

Colleen O — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:32:25 +0000

Go through an agency. If you go through the expectant mother it could wind up with her spending the rest of that child’s life bribing you for more money…any lawyer is going to be working for HER to get HER money. Agencies are state regulated. May I ask, why an infant? What about an older child?

By: Weeme

Weeme — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:01:38 +0000

Ha! You’re really brave asking this question on here, there are a lot of people who will want to see you hung, drawn and quartered for even uttering the words “infant adoption”.

I would seek out an adoption attourney, who will give you BALANCED advice, and not some “people stole my baby” sob story.
Good luck to you both!

By: missy_thetreehugginhippie

missy_thetreehugginhippie — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 15:09:10 +0000

An adoption ageancy is best i think, since dealing with an expectant mother could get compicated and you wouldn’t have anyone to back you up. (She could change her mind to keep the baby ect. leave you standing in the cold so to speak..)

It’s a legal aspect from the adoption agency that colud benefit you..