What would happen if agencies and attorneys were not allowed to use or agree to the term, “open” adoption?

But then they will have to find a different shiny penny to lure and coerce with…

Yeah close em all.

Excellent question with no clear answer.

Yes, i think “open” adoptions should be fully explained that they are NOT enforceable and guardianships offered as an option.

I also agree that to really make the point that “open” adoptions are unenforceable, they should be told they’re closed.

but by the same point, even closed adoptions really don’t cut a woman from her offspring forever and ever . . .look at all the people on this site involved in reunion.

??Now What?? — I could be completely wrong but don’t a few states recognize open adoptions? I know WI doesn’t but i thought there was a baby’s handful of states that did.

You know I have thought about that too. I often wonder what would have happened if I had the opportunity to have an opened adoption. I think that if I was told I was going to be involved in an open adoption and then the door was slammed on me I would have been in worse shape than I was with a closed adoption. I made a decision knowing full well that I was walking out of her life forever. Was it hard, yes. Would I have given anything for a picture, yes. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that people can be big enough and secure enough to do this, I just don’t know how it would have worked out for me. I will never know, but find the stories about this happening most upsetting. Part of me thinks that adoptions should be looked at as being closed and if you get a secure set of aparents that are willing to see the importance of nparents in an adoptees life that’s great, but being as I am a nmom I can see the devistation and heartache of watching your child grow from a disance and then a few years later poof gone. It was hard enough at birth, I have a very hard time imagining what that must have felt like after being allowed to bond, even a little bit.

Does this make sense to anyone? I am not against opened adoption, I think it’s awsome. I can see both benifits and problems that would arise but over all I think it is a good thing. I just dont’ know how much more pain I could have taken if I was one day cut out of my daughters life after being told I was going to be a part of it. It seems to me that would be worse than preparing yourself for the terms of a closed adoption, which was hard enough.