Why do people rarely consider adoption as an option for an unwanted pregnancy?
ByIt seems like people say either abortion, or you have to keep the baby. Why not adoption? It’s clearly an option, and many people want kids who can’t have them, and would love to adopt, but many people do not choose this option. Why not? Is it because the mother can get too attached to it?
Related posts:
- Why is it so easy for people to throw out the “just put it up for adoption” line?
- Why do people do this?
- Why do people always say to give a baby up for adoption instead of aborting it?
- Why are people always so sure that adoption is best?!?
- How can I reccommend adoption to my friend without her being offended?
18 Comments
April 18th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
i guess they do not want to go through the process of childbirth
shame
April 18th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I think it’s the attachment issue which is a sad misunderstanding in and of itself; I know many loving families looking to adopt a new child…
Which brings me to another thought; if you’re afraid of giving your child away to a perhaps loving family; why would you even consider getting an abortion and killing what you are so very attached to?
April 18th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
The mother may get too attached to it and want to keep in contact with the baby for all her life
April 18th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
yes, i know if i had a baby and just seeing the life coming out of me. i wouldnt wanna give it away. its too hard to carry something for 9 months and not love it.
i mean look at juno! tht movie was perfect for how it was so hard to give tht newborn away.
Crazy!
April 18th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
to save face. They don’t want their friends to know they sleep around.
April 18th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
you are my kind of person. OBAMA sopports this. He encourages it and he is studying. Have you heard of stem cell research spending all tax payers money? and killing babys?
April 18th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
there is nothing wrong with adopting unless you go through an agency. if you go through an agency it’s like selling your child to the highest bidder.
edit:
it is also bad if the people wanting to adopt are paying the mother for the child. NOW that is wrong. Also it’s wrong if people wanting to adopt are trying to bully the mother into giving her child up for adoption.
April 18th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Well people keep the baby from an unwanted pregnancy because: When you have a baby you feel an instant unconditional love for this child, and giving it up doesnt feel like an option after you’ve carried it for 9 months and you feel so close to it.
People have abortions because: They dont want to go through the pregnancy, they dont want to gain the weight, or have the problems, they dont want to have to “put their lives on hold” because they’re pregnant (no drinking or smoking, diets.) that sort of thing.
They’re reasons make sense, in a way, but at the same time, it seems sort of selfish when so many woman cant get pregnant and would love a baby, and these people are providing horrible lives for their accidental babies, or their just not even giving them a chance to live (i am pro-choice tho.)
April 18th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
I think it’s because the mother and the father do not want to have to deal with the guilt and wondering for the rest of their lives, and the child won’t have to grow up not knowing who their birth parents are. Think about it: you’re a mother and you just had a baby, and the father has deserted you. you don’t have the money or the time, and you’re not emotionally ready. So, you put the baby up for adoption. Now think of living through everyday of the rest of your life, wondering what your child looks like, what their hobbies are, how they laugh, etc, and there’s probably also guilt involved though you know it was best for the baby. Meanwhile, the child lives the rest of their life not knowing their birth parents, unless they decide to contact you, which would be pretty traumatic. There are a lot of things that go into it ! i hope this helps*
April 18th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
They probebly dont want to have everyone els know about their sluttyness and they might not want 2 go through the birth.Either that or they just dont care.Some ppl just are stupid and then they dont want to take care of the baby so they get rid of it b4 its even born.I know…. its sad and cruel,but thats just how this world is….some ppl decide to do good things…and others…well…they just dont seem to make the right decisions.
April 18th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
it is possible the mothers get attached to it. that is of course if they choose to keep it.
honestly if i were ever put in a position like that, i would rather find a family for the baby myself.
adoption can take years. and who knows how they treat the kids there(especially how the kids treat the other kids.)
April 18th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
My guess is because people want a quick fix to their ‘problem’ so they choose abortion. It’s selfish and mean, thou, and most of the time they regret their decision later on in life.
IMO they would have a clean conscience if they would have let the innocent baby live.
April 18th, 2010 at 11:34 pm
idk but i think if you are woman enough to have sex than you should be woman enough to take care of the baby i could never live with myself if i had an abortion and if you dont want the baby give it to someone that does my family has many woman in it that cant even have babies and they would give anything for them and other women are so quick to kill theirs!!
and to add something i support stem cell research fully although i do not support abortion …the way i see it if there is going to be abortion in the world than at least we can turn some good out of it.
April 19th, 2010 at 12:34 am
Yes that’s true…mothers always get attached to their baby.It becomes very hard for a mum to carry the baby for 9 months and after going through hell to deliver the baby give him/her to some complete stranger.I know there are people out there who would do anything to have children in their lives and adoption becomes their only option.But adoption for a mum is a very hard process to go through.So lots of women choose abortion for unwanted pregnancy.Its less painful then giving your child away..
April 19th, 2010 at 1:28 am
The adoption process has many strings attached, and is not a well run system. We all hear stories about people who want to adopt, and are unable to. I dont know if this is true or not, but I know people ramble through these lines as an expression that the adoption system is messed up. In our current situation, we (americans) can’t afford to raise the kids (homeless) we do have, and to encourage the poor to breed more kids would be irrational, or selfish. That being said; I think that it is good for people to believe that the abortion system is bad, and to adopt kids instead. Just kidding, I said that backwards, to accompany the beliefs that I think I am debating. When a group says, “we want more bums to be born”, I question if they have a religion, with a farm, or a factory for these children to work on, and to be raised at, or if they are simply ashamed of their prostitute like marriages, and want to force every woman to sell herself like they have done and say, only the rich can have sex. If you are not rich, and can not afford to raise a child, then he or she should have to suffer poverty for you’re love making. It’s like they are saying that sex is only for sugar daddy’s and prostitute wives.
April 19th, 2010 at 2:07 am
Wow.. not a single pro-choice answer yet? Hmm… I’ve got two wonderful boys, and we may go for a third. I love them to death and am so glad that I’ve got them. BUT. For some women pregnancy is just not an option. And in many cases termination is the best route. If a person isn’t able to take care of themselves enough not to get pregnant, how well will they take care of themselves to give what’s best for baby? Will they abstain from smoking/drugs/alcohol? Or will we just add another unstable, unhealthy child to this world to suffer or possibly die? What’s more cruel… ending a life before it’s begun, or forcing a life of pain? And for some of those people it would mean personal (and sometimes financial) ruin.
There are many, many factors, and every case is different. I think most people want to do good, and many would love to keep their babies but are afraid of the consequences.
It’s not a question, really, that you’re asking. Because it’s such a subjective topic you aren’t really going to get an answer. And not all women opt for abortion.. my aunt had a baby boy when she was a teenager, gave him up for adoption, he was placed in a wonderful home and has since grown up and found his mother again. We see him at family functions and he now has two moms and a dad, so bonus for him.
Anyway… it’s late and I’m ranting. Hope this keeps up the discussion!
April 19th, 2010 at 2:36 am
Its a kind of possessiveness people have. We can say this as a psychotic behavior.
Generally in everyone’s life we will get through situation like this,
If i like something most and if i feel no one cares of that more than me, then obviously i think like let it be with me till it destroys or sometimes we will try to destroy it.
Same with this case too, Women generally very strongly attached with the child and they think of all these at once and decides not to have unwanted pregnancy. Because she is not supposed to destroy a life.
April 19th, 2010 at 3:26 am
What about the children ALREADY in the adoption system? Why can’t THEY be adopted first? I think the children already in the system should be first priority. Couples SHOULD NOT be greedy and ONLY want a fresh-from-the-vagina newborn.