Water Birth at Home, How can we make our family feel ok with what my husband and i want?
ByHello I am a mother of one and one on the way, I really want to have a water birth and I would also like my son who will be 2 1/2 years by that time to be their with us as we bring this new life into this world after i give birth but the hospital doesn’t allow water births they only allow you to labor in the water and when you are ready to push you go on the bed so my only other options is having the birth at home. I’m find with this and I have been doing lost of reading on it and my sister in-law had a water birth at home and she said it was the best thing ever. But my problem is our family they are very put in their place of me having the baby in the hospital as they say it is safer not only for me but the baby and they are starting to make me very mad, so how can I make our family feel comfortable with what my husband and I want?
Hope you can help
P.S. and is their any website and i can show them to help them out?
Yes I have a midwife
Hello I am a mother of one and one on the way, I really want to have a water birth and yes i have a midwife and I would also like my son who will be 2 1/2 years by that time to be their with us as we bring this new life into this world after i give birth but the hospital doesn’t allow water births they only allow you to labor in the water and when you are ready to push you go on the bed so my only other options is having the birth at home. I’m find with this and I have been doing lost of reading on it and my sister in-law had a water birth at home and she said it was the best thing ever. But my problem is our family they are very put in their place of me having the baby in the hospital as they say it is safer not only for me but the baby and they are starting to make me very mad, so how can I make our family feel comfortable with what my husband and I want?
Hope you can help
P.S. and is their any website and i can show them to help them out?
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8 Comments
May 14th, 2010 at 9:05 am
Here have a look at these sites to gather “proof” and maybe just jot down or copy and print a few things like statistics and give it to them and tell them why you want to give birth and it’s your choice and that you would appreciate it if you could not make any negative remarks as i already know how you feel on the matter and this has nothing to do with you. My life my decisions. I will not tell you what to do in regard to your life so let me make my own decisions without feeling like everyone is against me. ….Something along those lines =P
http://www.waterbirth.org/mc/page.do?sitePageId=38565&orgId=wi
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/articles/birth/waterbirth-birth-in-water
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/home-birth.html
As for you if you need any resources, a good book to change perspective on birth and learn about mind/bodt connection is “Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth” and “The Water Birth Book”
May 14th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Your family is right to be scared for your unborn child.
Do me a favour… hold your breath. Start now.
Pretend this is what is happening the moment your child starts to be born with the umbilical cord around his/her neck. or, say, any one of a dozen other reasons why your baby may stop breathing. Something that is rare, but it can and DOES happen. In a hospital, the doctors have all the drugs and all the knowledge to help.
Still holding your breath? Because the ambulance you called when you really needed ACTUAL medical help has barely left the hospital yet while your poor child has been struggling for its first breath because you wanted it to be born with “familiar wallpaper” around it, or whatever spawns these odd thoughts.
Sorry to sound so mean… but I wanted to get a point across. I know you will hear lots of stories from people who had home births with no problems. Good for them. Nothing went wrong. What if you’re not so lucky? Kids are born in taxicabs as well… gonna try for that as well???
It always boggles the mind when we have all of this medical knowledge at our fingertips why people think it is more important to risk a child’s life because they think it is better to have it born at home. The child won’t know, or care. where it was born. Would you have home bone surgery? Or home brain surgery?? Go for that bone-marrow transplant in the living room? Why not? Sounds stupid right? You are doing this for your own selfish sentimental reasons so go rationalize it somewhere else.
I hope your family convinces you to do this in a hospital for the sole reason of JUST IN CASE something goes wrong, then your baby doesn’t suffer because the parents made a stupid decision.
And I hope the birth is a healthy one one whatever you decide.
Oh… you can breathe now…the ambulance just pulled up in the driveway.
oops….. oh well. At least it was in familiar surroundings.
Leto.
May 14th, 2010 at 9:41 am
your family should worry. you are being very irresponsible having your baby at home. what if something goes wrong? there would be nothing that could be done to help you or the baby on time. what if you need an emergency c-section?
May 14th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Ok water births are very risky and honestly they have every right to be worried, I have helped many people have babies and I think that water births at home are the scariest, there is no way to monitor the baby what so ever and if there are any serious problems with the babys position or heart rate you won’t know and you probably won’t make it to the hospital in time to have the baby by c section if you do feel that there is something wrong. It is your choice but I would stay with the hospital just to make sure the baby is in the best care possible. Sorry.
May 14th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Go find a hospital that will respect you and your wishes for birth. If it’s a few hours away, just plan for it and see if you can make it there. I would chance on what I wanted rather than conform to what anyone else wanted for you.
Midwifes and birthing centers may be something to look at as well. A midwife can come to your house and set up a water birth and be with you the whole time, thus providing the medical portion of the deal.
May 14th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Do you have a midwife yet? My midwife was wonderful at explaining her credentials and what she would do in case of emergency. She was very reassuring, especially to my MIL.
May 14th, 2010 at 11:51 am
An extract from the NHS’s website:
“Home birth
In England, approximately one in 50 babies is born at home. If you have a straightforward pregnancy and both you and the baby are well, you might consider this option. If you give birth at home, you’ll be supported by a midwife who will come to your home and be with you during labour. If you need any help or your labour isn’t progressing as well as it should, your midwife will arrange for you to be transferred to hospital. The advantages of giving birth at home include:
* Being in familiar surroundings where you may feel more relaxed and able to cope.
* You don’t have to interrupt your labour to travel to hospital.
* You won’t need to leave your other children, and you won’t have to be separated from the baby’s father after the birth.
* You’re more likely to be looked after by a midwife whom you have got to know during your pregnancy.
If you think you’d like a home birth, ask your midwife whether it will be suitable for you. If it is, your midwife will arrange for members of the midwifery team to support you.
There are some things you should think about if you’re considering a home birth:
* You might need to go to a hospital if there are any complications.
* You won’t be able to have certain kinds of pain relief, such as an epidural.
* Your doctor or midwife might feel that it’s better for you to give birth in hospital, for example, if your baby is breech. They will explain why they think this, but you can still choose to have your baby at home. If so, contact a supervisor of midwives through your local hospital or maternity unit. He or she can help to make sure that your birth plan is put in place to maximise the safety of you and your baby. ”
-http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/pregnancycareplanner/Pages/Birthoptions.aspx
Visit that website and watch their videos on home births and hospital ones. Put simply if you’ve had an uncomplicated pregnancy and you’re low risk you should be fine, midwives can cope with a large number of complications in birth, including the cord being wrapped around the baby’s neck. Discuss with your midwife what option is best for you.
The Royal Collage of Midwives also supports it, this page explains their views on it:
http://www.rcm.org.uk/midwives/news/rcm-in-the-news/off-the-record-should-midwives-be-promoting-and-providing-home-birth/?locale=en
May 14th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
There comes a point where you just have to say “I’m done with you. If you can’t be supportive, stay the heck away.” You have a midwife and I think that it is perfectly safe to do what you are doing. It is not her job to explain to your family, but she might be willing to explain how she is prepared to handle things.