i feel totally defeated..how can i feel better and let it go?
ByQuestion by Funny Bug: i feel totally defeated..how can i feel better and let it go?
i feel totally defeated. my son is 6 months old now and when he was first born i tried to nurse him. he wouldnt latch on..i even had experts coming to my home and they couldnt help. i pumped for as long as i could and he was then put on formula. during this time ive had 2 friends have babies who both were successful at BF. today, i get on my facebook and see that another one of my friends (who is pregnant) posted something about the recent Similac recall and stated “And this is why i plan on breastfeeding”. it just rubbed me the wrong way. she knows how hard i tried to nurse my son and i just feel like she is being totally insensitive. i doubt she did it on purpose but i also think she didnt even consider how i would feel about it.
i really want to get over this..i mean, its been 6 months already but i just cant seem to not get upset when someone mentions it. to be honest, it almost makes me feel like less of a mom because i wasnt able to BF. or that i should have tried harder.
how can i get over this mess?
Best answer:
Answer by Jana M
the important thing is you tried. Most women wont even attempt one breastfeeding session, and I think that is ridiculous. You gave it your best and if it didnt work out theres nothing you can do now. I breastfed my son for 6 months and then switched to formula and he is perfectly healthy at 5 now. I am breastfeeding my daughter right now still at 10.5 months but its becoming a huge burden. Dont feel bad and quit blaming yourself.
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2 Comments
June 18th, 2011 at 2:33 pm
I WANTED to BF. I tried for 5 days. I had seen what my sister in law went through trying with her first (and second) and decided i didn’t want to miss the first few months of my child’s life stressing out over this.
She is 18 months now and I still get sad that we missed out on that, and I know more things now that i wish i’d known then. It is very hard but you need to learn to forgive yourself and let go of the guilt. If your child is happy and healthy then they don’t even notice they’re not BF, it’s only on your part that you know something is different.
And before you all TD me, know that there were also medical issues behind our trouble BF.
I so glad hubby got to feed baby lots (especially at night!!!
) cause he got to bond a lot more with his child.
June 18th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Man, I’d say you gave it a valiant try! You have nothing to feel bad about. I know you feel bad, but you can feel good that you did what you could for your son. I know there’s a huge breast feeding craze these days, and I breast feed as well, but it’s not easy. For me, I get so engorged, I’ve thought when I have another, I might only hang in there for 2-3 months. The formula thing is getting all this hype, but I don’t think it’s as big a deal as the media is making it. I mean, there’s plenty of bug legs in baby food, like apricots and pears. Not to mention ketchup and stuff like that, it’s just part of nature. I think you are a good mom, and giving your child formula does not make you a bad mom! Most of my friends nursed for 3-6 months anyway.
I think we live in a society where everyone judges everyone else and it’s all made magnified by the media and medical articles. Like you’re a bad mom if you don’t vaccinate, and you’re a bad mom if you vaccinate, and you’re a bad mom if you don’t breast feed, and you’re a bad mom if you do, and you’re bad if you put your kids in daycare, but you’re bad if you don’t get them involved in something, etc etc.
You just do the best you can, and that’s all you can do. I guarantee your child will be no different if you don’t beast feed him. I wasn’t breast fed (I was Jaundice and in hosp for 2 weeks – back then) and I have the superior immune system between me and my siblings.
Try not to let your friends bother you. One day you’ll see them driving up to your house without their kid in a car seat, and you’ll think, who’s the bad mom now? ha ha.