Archive for The Full-Time Parent
The wifes cheatin, and filed for divorce………?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by Derek T: The wifes cheatin, and filed for divorce………?
My wife and I have been married not quite 2 years. We have a son together and I had the role as the “mr. mom” stay at home dad. A few months ago, it got to the point where she wasnt coming home from work and would go days without seeing me and my son. Well, she just filed for divorce, but I refuse to stop there!
I want to know of some good ways to catch her in her cheating act, and if it is possible to fight for alimony. Also, does this give me abtter chance of getting full custody of my son. She always throws it in my face that no matter what she does, the court will always be on her side because she is the mother. I need some serious help on this! God Bless,
Derek
Best answer:
Answer by celticbuddha
yes courts do tend to favor the mother. but i’d suggest that you have a damn good lawyer and make the lawyer aware of the fact that you are mr. mom. that you are the child’s primary caregiver. you should at least get 50/50 custody. and you could very well end up with child support and alimony since she’s the one working. talk to a lawyer, and do it NOW!
What do you think? Answer below!
when is it too early?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by Been: when is it too early?
soo my boyfriend works and wants me to be a “stay at home mom” and i’m only 21 weeks pregnant but he insists that i dont work.. i am usually really bored while he is at work because my friends all live about 180 miles away from me and i dont have my own car. I was wondering if it would be waay to early to start decorating the baby’s nursery to give my something to do while he is at work?? has anyone ever started a nursery this early in pregnancy or so you think i should wait.. i guess my question is basically, when is “too” early to start something like this??
Best answer:
Answer by ready to meet my gummy bear 3/23
i dont think its too early, honestly its not like the baby just isnt coming. it will be here soon enough…i want to start decorataing as soon as i find out what we are having. plus it gives you a lot of time to buy things one at a time instead of all at once later on.
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My girlfriends parents are awful to her, what should I tell her?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by fairwaydrive322: My girlfriends parents are awful to her, what should I tell her?
My girlfriend is the nicest, sweetest, most mature 16 year old girl I have ever seen. Her mother got remarried and had another child, whom my girlfriend has practically brought up on her own for the past 4 years (shes 4 now). She knows everything about childcare, and she is responsible for cleaning the entire house, cooking the meals, etc. Her family is well off and her stepdad works at home but never helps with the children, and the mother is a “stay at home mom” although she is out most of the time tanning or laying on the beach or having sleepovers with friends. My girlfriend does it all for everyone in her family and never gets any appreciation or money. Instead, her stepdad and mom yell at her all the time and sit her down and swear at her, telling her she is selfish. Every other word is profanity and it breaks her down to the point of tears. She calls me crying but I don’t know what to tell her. She is so perfect and everyone knows it…except her parents.
Best answer:
Answer by sine
Mind you’re own business.
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I am considering joining the marines…?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by ashley: I am considering joining the marines…?
I am in the midst of researching all I can find out about joining, and the opportunities available to me. Especially as a woman. I need to decide what option would be best for me. I want to be prepared and knowledgeable about my position wants and needs so I do not allow the recruiter to bully me into signing up to a sudden death occupation. I need to decipher between joining the reserves, enlist as active duty, or look into becoming an officer. I am a college student, I will be graduating in November with an associates in business. My main focus at this point is more education: with that being said, I want to be able to stay in school. (I have about 5-8 years of different types of schooling lined up that I want to accomplish). So I also would like to know my funding education options. My dream career goals are in the field of photography/ culinary arts. (hence: combat photographer… or what ever). Though I will not object to what ever jobs may be available to me. Another question being what would the best option military career wise be for me when I enlist. I hear that alot of combat jobs are not available to women, is this true? If so that is fine I really dont want to be deployed anyway. what are my chances of being deployed depending on how I enlist? I am not saying I want to take the easy route out, but I eventually when I get out of the military I plan to pursue and entrapanuer career in my dream field as well be an almost “stay at home mom”, but want a since of knowing what benefit I have acheived for myself and my children. I want a sense of accomplishmnet and strength. I need further dicipline, to stand up to my full potential (which I know the marines will surely provide). I have dreams of my own, but also have a longing to become a US Marine. I dont want to jump into something so serious, stupidly. I just need some information on opportunitues, options, and experiences as well as more resources to find more information. And information provided will be taken in greatfully.
P.S.
I don’t want anyone refering me to the navy or air force. I am focused on being a marine. I have had enough people tell me what I should do. “take the easy way out” …blah blah blah, my dad didn’t raise to take the easy route. I love a challenge and I have my mind set percisely on the marines. I know they say marines are the the ones who join with the mind frame ready to go to war and kill, but I know theres more, and I am focusing on those other ooptions within the marine core!
Let me make this alittle clearer… I never said I am against deploying, (obviously y would I even look at the military?).. I work for the army I know alittle more about the military than you think. Also I know what they say about the marines. I know that COMBAT Photography would be a deployment. I know u don’t get to necesarily pick what you want to do. obviously the lady marine that answered my question is active duty, and probably didn’t know jack about the marines when she joined. obviously if I am asking the question I do not know too much about the marines… THATS WHY I AM ASKING WHAT OPPORTUNITUES ARE OUT THERE! I never planned to take pictures with butterflies jack ass. I have plenty of marine friends, I just am trying to get perspective of which program would be most profitable for me! because I know that there are different routes you can take in, and I know that recruiters will tell you anything to make you think that you dont have options, but I personally know that u do
Best answer:
Answer by MCMoose18
I went to a senior military college with lots of Army soldiers and Marines. They were activated almost regularly and it took many of them seven years to finish their degrees. Some of them never finished school at all. As a woman, you won’t be able to get many combat MOSs. I knew a girl when I was in college who was a Marine Reservist. Her MOS was motor transportation. The closes she got to a combat zone was driving supply trucks around combat zones to make deliveries.
I’m a guy and I considered joining the Army or the Marines at a couple points in my life. But you NEED to think about a couple of other things. Do you want to do a job in the military that will be more transferable into the civilian world when you get out of the service? Motor-T will help you to be a truck driver or a bus driver when you get out after being enlisted…is that what you would want to do?
Also, I know that you are pining to become a US Marine, but you have to look at the MOSs and rates available in other branches. In the DOD branches, you could be training all the time for combat action that you will probably never see. In the US Coast Guard (which has a huge concentration of women) you can do all the jobs that the men do, and even get a chance to see armed conflict.
You said that you are interested in photography or culinary arts. Well, in the Coast Guard you could get a guaranteed rate be a PA (public affairs) specialist taking pictures and engaging with the public on a regular basis. You could become a food specialist and satisfy your culinary desires. Last I heard, the Marines were phasing out FS (food specialists) and replacing them with civilian contractors….One of my high school buddies was a Marine FS guy who told me about the phasing out. I don’t know if things have changed since 2004, but you should ask your recruiter.
In the Coast Guard, you could even be a female rescue swimmer…CG rescue swimmers are acknowledged as being comparable to the DOD special ops community as far as their rigorous training and dangerous missions are concerned. Being a woman, you will have way more opportunities and equality in the Coast Guard. I went to school with some Coasties, and they never had trouble finishing their degrees. The Coast Guard is very education oriented and will pay in full for your education (like every other branch does) but you will not be activated and shipped out while you are working on your degree. The Air Force will help you out the same way.
In the end, the choice is obviously yours. Do yourself a favor and do some more research on the other branches before you jump in with both feet. Since you are a woman, you should base your choice on where you will have the most opportunity.
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Foodstamps!??????????????
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by Erin: Foodstamps!??????????????
A friend of mine gets over 0.00 a month foodstamps..She is very capable to get off her butt and get a job..Yet, she claims to be a “stay at home mom”. Her husband works and brags about his huge pay checks to my husband…They were going thru a rough spell at the beginning of the year, that’s when they decided to apply for foodstamps.. I can understand that..They have 4 kids..BUT, it seems to me that things have gotten better for them in the last few months. When she first told me that she had applied and gotten FS she said she was SHOCKED at how much they were allowed each month. She made the comment that she had taken several of her family members grocery shopping, because she could never spend that much a month. Now, she goes to Sams Club each month and racks up…Sam’s takes FOOD STAMPS!?!? I couldn’t believe that! She was here one day..and said “Let’s have a seafood night!” I was like..ok, whatever.. She went to the grocery store and spent over 200.00 of her FS money to buy crablegs and shrimp. I thought, OMG..This idiot is getting this money each month, and there’s other people who can’t work..and barely get anything..or nothing at all. I just don’t understand it. Next week they’re going to the beach, just went and bought a brand new really nice treadmill. Stuff that ppl who really need FS should not be able to do. I don’t know how these people are getting away with this..He doesn’t have any takes taken out of his check, he’s basically paid under the table I guess you could say. So, really…they can’t prove his income. Somehow they both ended up being able to file income taxes and both received over 3500.00 each…She doesn’t even work!! How does she file taxes?!!?? But of course, child support took it all..Cause he doesn’t pay that like he should. This just really urks me, and I’m not sure if I should just let it ride, or report it. Even if I did report it, they probably wouldn’t do anything.
Well Rae Rae, maybe I shouldn’t call her a friend..This WAS a friend some time ago, who I loaned 750.00 to pay their light bill. After she refused to pay me back all of my money, we were no longer friends for about a year. But now, we do speak from time to time. Jealous? No Rae Rae, my husband and I work our asses off daily, so that we don’t have to ask the government for help, and as long as I’m able, I’ll be damned if we ever will. I just know that before my mother inlaw died, she was getting 75.00 a month FS, and COULD not work. These are the ppl who should be getting help, not perfectly healthy individuals who are just lazy.
Best answer:
Answer by MolonLabe1776
This is proof that people abuse the system, yet some that really need the help are denied. Quite a shame, isn’t it?
What do you think? Answer below!
Should I get ANY help around here?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by sweetsfromdat817: Should I get ANY help around here?
My husband and I have a 5 year old and I am around 9months pregnant right now. I left work a couple of months ago (too physical) and have been “stay-at-home-mom” since. I am on short-term disability because I plan on returning to work.
My husband still works of course. He comes home and goes STRAIGHT to the playstation3 to play football. I do absolutely EVERYTHING around the house, I mean ev-er-y-thing. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done, literally. If I kinda protest and leave his laundry undone he doesn’t notice- he just finds something/anything to wear. If i don’t have dinner made a couple nights in a row he just still comes in and asks “what we eatin?”
My point is, I AM FREAKIN 9 MONTHS PREGNANT AND I FEEL HORRIBLE! He Knows nothing about pregnancy symptoms ( he wont read up on it or look at the internet) so he doesn’t get that i will have good/bad days. So i keep it all in and try not to argue with him about it. I have brought up the fact that I just need a little bit of help around the house preparing for when the baby gets here. It didn’t work. It’s exhausting how much I do around here cleaning up after him and a 5 year old kindergartener. I’m tired yall. What can I do to make him see how much I need him right now?
I keep telling myself just wait til baby gets here and let him “figure it out” on his own. Yeah right!! Help me…..or I might just go off on him soon.
muddling-you wasted space with your answer, obviously male. If i wasn’t 9 months along I wouldn’t have a problem doing everything.
Plus I shouldnt go behind a grown ass man picking up and cleaning wherever he sits/squats, etc.
Latin G – Are you serious? What does race have to do with it you jerk?! I have other words for you that i will keep to myself.
Oh yeah, there has been no sex in the last 2 months, his choice not mine!! That upset me too! lol
Some of these answers are stupid as hell. Why doesn’t yahoo let us delete the dumb ones. I am immature. And I don’t just spit out kids you fool. Ugh, some folks shouldn’t be allowed on here….
So far, Thanks to Honey, Spinner, Grammie and Hades for serious answers. I appreciate it.
Best answer:
Answer by muddlingalong
main point to remember here is that at least he’s bringing in the dosh
that does count for something
if you were on your own
you wouldn’t even have that
hows about linking up with other mums and working out how they do it?
heck, when i had mine the fellas did nowt anyway…and that was normal!
i do think things have changed a bit now
for some people
But I do know that some mums do everything …even now
then again…some don’t…
how do they do it?
no idea
go find some
and ask ‘em!
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How do you deal with lazy/sick/depressed parent?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by Pepper Shaker: How do you deal with lazy/sick/depressed parent?
I put up multiple adjectives because I honestly don’t know which it is. My mom has always been a “stay at home mom” but she does nothing. Literally, she is on the computer all day long until morning, and then sleeps until the afternoon, and does it again.
I love my mom, but she doesn’t TRY to do anything. This has been for as long as I can remember. She loves me, but everything annoys her. She doesn’t feel good. She’s tired. She doesn’t want to do anything. She doesn’t feel like it. All. The. Time.
I live at home while I am finishing my last year of college. I have been in school full time since high school, and working since I was 16. Granted, I work a lot of hours but I don’t make much money, which is why I live at home. I cover all of my expenses, and contribute to household things. I am not complaining about that part, because that is just how it is.
My problem is that my mother will do NOTHING. The house is a mess all the time unless I clean it. There are no groceries unless I buy them. I don’t have TIME to run a household of 4 people, and it seems like she expects everyone else to everything for her. My father works, my brother is in high school, and my mom is on the computer ALL DAY LONG. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.
I just don’t know what to do. I’m tired of the laziness. I work hard in school, I work a minimum wage job to pay for it, I buy/have bought all of my own things, take care of myself, and STILL she expects me to take care of her too because she DOESN’T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING.
I’m so frustrated. She has never been diagnosed with any illness, she just acts like it. She will stay in one spot all day, wake up and go right back to that spot, on the computer, without bothering to change her clothes or anything. The problem is I love her so much (she’s my mom!) but I’m SO frustrated! What do I do??
Fuck off, I do take care of myself. My Dad was laid off (he makes much less now) and they need me to help pay for things.
My dad works, but I think he has pretty much given up. I know he is frustrated but he doesn’t really do anything about it.
I have tried to talk her into seeing a therapist several times, but I can never get through. When I was younger, she would send ME to therapy instead of her! I have gone so far as to set up the appointment but she never goes.
Also, this isn’t just a question of “boo hoo poor me” for the people who are saying to just move out. She obviously needs help, and the rest of my family is unhappy as well. I just don’t know how to help her.
Excuse me? I have a boyfriend. And before we had the computers it was the TV. She has always been this way. I am NOT nagging her, she is the one nagging me. She has not “slaved” over anything. Can you read?
And I’m not asking her to devote her life to me, I said I take care of myself (and I know I know you’ll pick on the “but you live at home” because you won’t actually read what I wrote. I’m asking her to NOT EXPECT ME TO RUN HER HOUSEHOLD. And the other issue, smart one, is SHE IS NOT HAPPY.
Best answer:
Answer by LEYKIS 101
YOU GET YOUR @SS OUT OF THEIR HOME!!!!
People can do what they want in their own home whether you like it or not!!!! I took care of myself in college so you can!! your just as lazy as she is!!!
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Who in the world are these “super moms?”?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by LeenaJo’sMommy: Who in the world are these “super moms?”?
I don’t know about other women, but these women are driving me crazy! I’m a stay at home mom and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My Leena is almost 4 moths old and enjoys playing by herself for about 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon.
I think it’s ok to let her be independent and it gives me a chance to get stuff done. I was just reading an answer by somebody who says to strap her in a sling and carry her around all the time, turn off the tv (I don’t let her watch more then 10 minutes at a time when I’m super busy) and spend every single waking moment with her.
I don’t know about you…but I need some time to myself! I don’t care if its reading a magazine for 5 minutes while she plays or what.
These women that are perfect mothers make me nuts!
Anybody else feel that way or am I just a kook?
I don’t have anything against slings, I use one occasionally just not all the time.
My daughter is just very independent.
Best answer:
Answer by stay@homemomma
i dont pay much attention to the yahoos. most are silly story tellers anyway.
my kids have independent play and we play together. i never carried mine around – too uncomfy for me but guess what, well adjusted loving and caring kids. couldn’t ask for better ones actually.
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Should I account for a gap in job history on my resume?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by Commander Spoonface: Should I account for a gap in job history on my resume?
I didnt work for almost a year because I had given birth and stayed at home with my son during that time. I have since then had a stable job for the last three years at the same company.
I’m now looking to update my resume and possibly start applying for a job within a different industry. What should I do about that gap in my work history? Should I put the dates and simply put “Stay at home mom” or something? I also dont want to take the risk of putting off an employer if they know I have a child at home to care for.
What do you think?
Well, the reason isnt a huge concern, it’s just got me hoping they dont write me off without asking simply based on that employment gap.
Best answer:
Answer by Heidi H
I would just leave it. If you did any volunteer work or outside activities you could put those. However, Be ready to answer if asked. It is your right to leave that time out. An employeer can’t penalize you for it.
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My 17month old? Worried :o(?
Posted by: | CommentsQuestion by luvnnoah: My 17month old? Worried
(?
Hi All -
I’m a little worried about my 17month old.
He’s just starting to get into the “temper tantrum” phase, Nothing bad. Pretty much what I expected out of him, A little normal Head Butting when upset, Overly Testing us, it comes and goes. Usually depends on how tired he is, how he was put to bed “if he was whining then its worse”,. and he wakes up ” bad if he wakes up crying”. I’ve noticed he Doesn’t Cry as much at all, & Even though he still wakes up like 4-5times per night It’s ok, I’m just waiting for HIM to decide when he wants to sleep through the night. He’s also developed very normally, His speech isn’t the best “I think because I’m a stay at home mom” so he’s not around as many people as he would be in day care, but I’m not concerned with it. He shows Understanding it what we are saying and tries to practice it.
I just wanted to give you all a little background on him, To help answer my question.
My problem with him is, He just doesn’t want to listen to us.
I don’t mean when we are saying “Noah NO!” He minds very well.
It’s hard to explain. Today I was trying to teach him “NOSE” I was pointing at my nose, took his hand to point to his and he had no interest. I tried some more, but no interest…Didn’t want to PUSH it. Then just a few minutes ago I tried again, He wouldn’t even look me in the face just kept walking around.
He does watch more Tv then he probably should as young as he is, “Spongebob he LOVES”. Could this be causing possibly attention problems?
I know he can hear me, and sometimes I know he’s just doing it on purpose & will give me this look and run away.
I dont expect him to be a Rocket Scientist, Everything else he seems to be doing great. But, possible attention problems, and I’m just wondering if Watching to much TV could be causing this? or maybe hes just not ready to start with these kinds of things. Learning body parts? things like this….
JENNIFER W. –
Yes, My son makes Eye Contact.
He is a little shy with people, but we don’t get out much at all. I’m changing my whole routine with my son around starting tomorrow.
No more tv besides maybe 30minutes-1hr a day, We are going to start going out to our local mall among other places and start doing some much needed Socialization. He’s good with people if we take him out a couple times, right now its just cold, and a lazy time for us lol..
I feel like a horrible mother right now.
I mean everything else about him is fantastic, he’s always picked up on things right on top or quicker.
To answer your kissing question, He is constantly coming up to me and giving me “BWAHS” he calls them..lol he gives a kiss and says bwah! bwah! haha its very cute!
I think you are thinking that he could possibly be autistic “maybe?” I don’t think that is the case here. It’s always in the back of my mind, As I know it is many other parents. Just a sad, and scary thing. Thank you.
Best answer:
Answer by ms_leo_1969
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/04/040406090140.htm
Read this article, and then think about your question. Are you willing to risk your child’s future? ADD/ADHD does NOT have a cure, and any medication you can give them for it only “helps” it doesn’t totally “fix” the problem.
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