Did you use the Ferber ‘cry-it-out’ method to get your child to sleep?

Nope & I never will. It’s cruel.

no way, how could you leave a baby crying!? what if there was something wrong..i think its cruel.

My daughter is 4 months old and sleeps almost straight away when she is put into her crib. She is really well behaved so when she cries, she cries for a reason.

No, I use love and cuddles.

We did do the CIO method (though im not sure if all CIO methods are the same hence the Ferber method)
Anyway, we only did it when we were 100% sure that she was okay & only wanted attention. Sorry I love my daughter to itsy bitsy peices BUT a cranky not well slept mommy has more potential in snapping at the baby the next day for some mundane reason, so for me it was the best choice. I mean 2-3a.m. is just not the time to “hang out” with my baby & id rather her cry for a few minutes then go back to sleep & me also be well rested then go into her room which 9 out of 10 times only further wakes her up-so what might have only been 5 minutes of crying now turns into 1/2 an hour ordeal trying to get her to calm down enough to go back to sleep.

I’ll probably get a lot of thumbs down-hey to each his own but for me The CIO really helped her (& me)

*add* & like someone else said-its a method for older kids obviously not infants! it should be used with great discretion, & used properly it can be a life saver! Also babies have “different cries”, I can tell when My baby is crying from pain (gas) , hunger, or just b/c she wants attention & or has thrown all her binky out of her crib (like all 20!) & now wants me to go fetch them (@2 in the morning! LOL)

Nope don’t like the crying

I have before. It’s hard, but sometimes it is the only thing that will work. I refuse to let my children have control over the situation, and I don’t think it’s cruel. I don’t think it has emotionally harmed either of my children.

If I know something is wrong with my 17 month old daughter, I will try to make it better. When I can tell she simply wants to be held all night, it’s time for her to go to bed. I have tried bringing her to bed with us, and she thinks it’s playtime. So, after I have exhausted all possiblities of discomfort or pain, she goes back to bed. We had a couple of really rough nights, but it was worth it. She might cry for a minute when I put her down, but she goes to sleep on her own. When she wakes at night, she might settle down and go back to sleep. If she doesn’t, I go check on her, try to find out what’s wrong, and then she goes back down and goes to sleep. Everyone sleeps better, and she knows that she can’t manipulate the situation.

Cry-it-out does not mean ignore your child all night long. It simply means that children need to be taught from an early age where and how to sleep all night. I have a well adjusted 9 year old who cried it out as a child. I have a 17 month old who has cried it out and still loves me. The way I see it, my mental health depends on me getting a good night’s sleep. When I’m well rested, I can be a better mother.

After having to sleep on my couch for 4 months and for most of the night an additional 2 months, I did let her cry it out. I didn’t know it was a method, though.
I just made sure she had everything she needed, was appropriately dressed for the temperature, and soothed her before laying her in the crib. She simply wanted to sleep with me. There was nothing wrong with her. She would start crying as soon as she saw her doorway. It’s probably because I had her sleep with me (by choice) the first 2 months, and you would’ve needed the jaws of life to get her away from me throughout the day. I did everything for her, although Daddy would’ve helped.
I stayed up and listened for her cry. If she sounded distressed, I went to comfort her. In my case, she just cried angrily when I didn’t get her. It sounded like a tantrum. You can tell by the tone(?) of a baby’s cry if they are hungry, uncomfortable, upset, or just angry. At least, I can.
After 3 nights, she only cried for 10-15 minutes before falling asleep. After 2 more nights, she cried halfheartedly for the 10-15 minutes. She would cry, but you could hear that she was sleepy and only hoping to get her way. It got increasingly quieter as she fell asleep.
After 2 weeks, she only fussed for a couple minutes before laying down to sleep. That was normal for her and lasted until she was about a year old.
When she woke up at night to eat, I didn’t have any problems putting her back in her crib. At 1 year old, she was sleeping for 10-12 hours!
If she was really upset, I would’ve gotten her. I could tell that she wasn’t. I agree that leaving a child stressed out and crying is wrong, but there are times when they just want their way. I know my child and I know that was all it was in her case.
I do not recommend leaving a baby to cry when they are obviously very stressed. It probably won’t kill them, but it must be miserable. Also remember that babies swallow a lot of air when they cry. What starts out as crying for attention, may turn into crying from gas pains. Also, I would imagine that loud crying would give them a headache pretty quickly.
The result: A happy, loving, kind, healthy child who loves her mother and making people laugh. And a wife who got to sleep with her loving husband (in a bed, no less!) after 6 months of back aches. But she was worth it. =)

We started using Ferber’s method with our son about a week and a half ago. He is 4.5 months old. He was sleeping through the night for several weeks, but then stopped for no reason I could figure out. He is breastfed but also weighs 17.5 pounds so is certainly capable of sleeping through the night without a feeding.

I talked to my pediatrician about his sleep at his 4 month checkup and she suggested we consider sleep training. I was conflicted about the idea of letting him cry, but the doctor said a few things that really rang out to me -

1. You are a better parent if you have adequate rest.
2. Babies must be taught to soothe themselves back to sleep.
3. It is a parent’s job to set limits; otherwise your child is in charge.
4. Better sleep is in your child’s best interest too.

In the end we decided that it would be worth a few bad nights to have mostly good ones going forward. We combined Ferber’s progressive waiting schedule with a gentle goodnight routine. We also shortened the intervals – never went longer than 15 minutes between checks even when Ferber’s schedule goes to 20 minutes plus.

The first night our son cried for 40 minutes at his longest stretch. The second night he cried for less than 10 and on the fifth night he slept through the night. Now, 10 days in, he does still wake and cry sometimes at night but he never goes longer than those 15 minutes and we never have to go in to him.

I would advise you to check Ferber’s book out of the library and read some of it first, rather than just reading about it online. Most summaries I read online didn’t really convey all the details I got when I read the book.

For what it’s worth, my mother is a developmental psychologist and I discussed this method with her before trying it – she tells me it’s based on conditioning methods. Contrary to what opponents may tell you, it is not cruel to let your child cry. A good example that Ferber gives in the book – if your child wanted to play in the street, you wouldn’t let him no matter how he cried. Bad sleep habits can be distruptive and unhealthy and as your child gets older they will only become deeper-rooted and harder to break.

Good luck.