How can I break this habit with my 4.5 month old… without making him cry it out?
ByMy baby sleeps in a crib next to our bed. He is 4.5 months old. He falls asleep on his own very peacefully for naps and at night, no problem.
BUT, every night in the middle of the night he wakes to eat. I nurse him, but when I put him back down, he cries. He wants to stay in the bed with me. How can I break this habit gently?
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6 Comments
April 16th, 2010 at 12:25 am
If you don’t already, just hold him for a few minutes longer after nursing him and wait until he is very sleepy but not quite asleep. Lay him down gently and then stay close, stroke his hair or the bridge of his nose until he settles a little better.
It will get easier with time, the most important thing is that you are persistant in laying him back down and dont give in having him in with you unless it is something that YOU want too.
April 16th, 2010 at 12:48 am
Crying doesn’t mean you aren’t being gentle. After every few minutes of crying, rub his arm/face then back away. Crying won’t hurt him and putting him in the bed will only give you a bigger problem down the road. He’s gotta learn how to fall asleep by himself at some point. Better now than when he can open a door and crawl into your bed.
April 16th, 2010 at 1:00 am
If you want to solve it without having him cry it out, you’re not going to solve it. The only way he will become accustomed to proper mealtimes is if that’s the only time he gets fed. Feeding him in the middle of the night teaches him that he needs food in the middle of the night, when he certainly can last the night without food; it only excerbates the problem.
April 16th, 2010 at 1:20 am
Don’t nurse him in your bed–get up and sit in a chair. I’m assuming that at naptime and at night, you’re not laying in bed nursing him before you put him down. 2 am should be no exception. Also, don’t turn on a bunch of lights when you do nurse him at night because that confuses his body and tells him that it’s time to be awake.
Then, put him in his crib drowsy, but awake. Cry it out is letting him cry and walking away–don’t do that. Leave him in the crib, but rub his tummy or trace his face with your hands. The repeated motion should calm him. It may take awhile. Then, slowly shorten how long you touch him.
April 16th, 2010 at 2:06 am
You can’t. Either you let him cry it out and learn to self soothe or he will continue as he is and soon you’ll have a 12 year old getting up at night wanting in your bed. The fact that you don’t “want” to hear him crying is too bad. You are a parent…hearing a child cry is part of the equation. Unless you want a spoiled child as he gets older.
April 16th, 2010 at 2:46 am
At 4.5 months old your baby is NOT ready to go more than 3-4 hours without breastfeeding. Period. He is NOT ready for cry it out either. I get queezy at those that think it is okay. You cannot spoil a 4 month old. Can you spoil a 10 month old? Sure. But at 4.5 months he is trying to let you know he is hungry and needs you. Cry it out…. What exactly is “it”. Hunger? Could you fall asleep if you were hungry and crying? Comfort? loneliness?A baby who stops crying with cry it out doesn’t think to it’s self “OH! I get it. i should just go back to sleep. Okay!” A baby stops crying when it comes to the painful realization that no one is coming to help them. Some babies need a middle of the night feeding. Follow your instincts. If you think he needs it, either for hunger or comfort then do it. Your baby has only been alive for four months. Give him a break. And give your self a break. Try reading “The no cry sleep solution” by Elizabeth Pantley. It’s not too long and it has some really great suggestions. Babies cry to communicate not manipulate.Good luck