How do i train my 3 month old to sleep throug the night? Is it too early to let her cry it out to help her own
ByMy 3 month old girl is 100% breastfed.She sleeps 1-2 hrs average at night then wakes up to feed. Most of the time she couldnt go back to sleep until after 2 hrs then wakes up again after 2 hrs. She’s swaddled and i have tried evrything to put her to sleep continuously at night but still she wakes up. What should i do?> Is this normal? During the day she takes naps from 10 am to 1200 , feeds then naps after 2 hrs for 30 mins.
I feel that she’s not getting enough sleep. She’s happy most of the time but always wants to be held. Pls tell me what to do. Thanks
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11 Comments
April 15th, 2010 at 4:21 am
this might sound mean, and im not trying to be… but this is your baby, and one day she’s going to tell you to leave her alone… and all youll want is her being 3 months old again… watching her sleep… whoever told you you could sleep when you had a baby mis-informed you… you have to enjoy this time… do not let a 3 month old cry it out… that is called child abuse / neglect, this is a baby… not a toy…..you cannot spoil a baby under 1… period, no matter what you do… if you didnt want to be up all hours of the night, you should have not had sex.
April 15th, 2010 at 5:02 am
That’s what babies do. They eat, sleep and cry just as much as they individually want to. My daughter did the same and still, at age 4, doesn’t like sleeping through the night, or at all during the day. Everyone is different, and you have to enjoy this time working out what her quirks are.
Babies will always get as much of what they need, as long as you are there to give it to them. Three months is way too young, in my opinion, to let them cry it out. They need security. Try a basinet if you aren’t already as this is smaller than a cot and makes them feel warm and secure. Sleeping in your bedroom in the basinet is great for them as well as they can hear you there.
This is a time where you need to be there for your child, not to discipline her and trying to teach her what’s what. If you aren’t sure she’s getting enough milk, try expressing or see how she sleeps on one bottle of milk. They don’t drink much at that age, so I’m sure you’re doing well.
Be patient. She’s an individual and you’ll work her out in time.
April 15th, 2010 at 5:16 am
You need to hold the baby if it wants to be held. My little girl always wants to be held. It makes them feel secure. Babys really need a mothers love and touch. There is not a whole lot you can do with your child at three months. Your child will soon grow out of it and start sleeping more and more through the night. It wont be long. Hang in there. You sound like a caring mom, or you wouldnt be asking this question. AND DONT LISTEN TO THIS OTHER LADY WHO MADE THE RUDE COMMENT… SHE SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE EXTREMISTS WITH ALL THIS CHILD ABUSE TALK. SHE PROBABLY WAS ONE WHO TRIED TO SUE HER PARENTS TOO.. AND NEVER HAD A GOOD SPANKING GROWING UP!!!!!!!
April 15th, 2010 at 6:11 am
You can’t train a 3 month old to sleep through the night – it’s far too young to expect this. if she needs to wake and be fed, then this is what has to happen.
My nearly 6 month old still wakes twice to feed – I have tried getting her through it with a pacifier in case it is comfort and habit, but she is definitely hungry.
So, yes, this is quite normal and you have to go with it, I’m afraid.
What she does in the day sounds quite normal too.
Is she generally happy, healthy and thriving? If so, then everything is quite normal and being held is also normal at this young age when she just wants her mum.
Things will change so fast, though – my baby has gone through about 3 routine changes since 3 months.
April 15th, 2010 at 6:23 am
I agree not to let rude people annoy you with comments that make no sense, because not once in that whole paragraph of your problem did I hear you express any concern for yourself. KUDOS, and one vote down for the know it all at the top of the page.
Your baby will tell you what she wants. My son (and I am lucky, let me tell you) slept thru the night on his own at three months old. My roomie (same aged baby, about) had a terrible time, her son didn’t start until about a year. We tried damn near everything, but he was a boob-baby too, and he just, didn’t grasp the concept. She’s getting enough sleep, and remember, sometimes you HAVE to put her down, even if she cries. THAT is what can be cried out, because sometimes you have no choice, but if she is hungry, that’s your cue.
April 15th, 2010 at 7:20 am
Ayayay. You cant train her yet and even if you can please dont. Too much heartache really. If you had a heart.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:04 am
This is normal behavior for a newborn around the fourth month or so it will all start to calm down and get a lot easier for you to deal with. I do not know if it is b because the baby care gets easier or because you just get used to living without sleep . . . baby’s need to eat, sleep and be comforted on their own schedule. What really helped me was purchasing a sling. I highly recommend it. I could carry my babies around for hours in it and still have both of my arms free for other things. My babes got fantastic sleep in the sling pressed close to mommies chest and when awake they were much more stimulated than babies that are just left laying around. I recommend the moby wrap. It is the best!
April 15th, 2010 at 8:43 am
Awesome job on the breastfeeding, keep in mind that breastfeed babies often need to eat more often than formula feed babies as breastmilk is so easily digested. She is most likely just hungry. Do you co-sleep? Or have you done research on co-sleeping? This might be a good solution to the frequent waking, as you can simply roll over, give her a little feed and drift back to sleep. She might also fall alseep on the breast in bed, and not stay awake that extra two hours (I’m sure it is worth a try!).
Also, try to unswaddle her, as she is now 3 months, and gaining more and more motor control, and might like the feeling of being able to move now, unlike when she was a newborn and scared herself silly doing it! Or, if you know for a fact she adores the swaddling, then try it with her arms out.
This is all very normal, babies take time to figure day and night, and get into their own little routine. There isn’t anything, anyone can do to make a baby sleep longer, you just need to focus on the feeding and getting yourself rested as possible.
She might be one of those babies that just doesn’t need a whole lot of sleep, some babies need more and some less. She isn’t napping all that much during the day either. I’m sure as time goes on, she will pass more and more milestones and tire herself out during the day from learning new skills, she will also have growth spurts and might need more sleep. Only time will tell.
Try to feed her more in the evening before bed, have a bath with her and feed her in the tub, and then again after the jam-jams are on. Maybe adding another feeding into the evening routine will help her sleep just a tad bit longer.
As for the loving to be held thing…all babies love being held. It’s mothers who don’t hold their children enough to seem to loose interest in this wonderful contact, and find interest in other things instead. If she wants to be held by you, pat yourself on the back, you are doing an awesome job.
I hope this helps you a little.
Best wishes
April 15th, 2010 at 9:20 am
It’s common for a baby that age to feed every 2 hours if she is breastfeeding– and thats 2 hours from when you start the feed, not from when you finish. She’ll sleep if she needs sleep– shes not old enough to be choosing not to sleep or to cry on purpose. You can’t spoil a child that young and they can’t manipulate you— if they are crying they need you.
Co-sleep. I do. You AND baby will get WAY more sleep and you’ll have a great bond. I love it. Latch her on and go to sleep… she’ll rest more (because she will save that energy she spends crying for you to come to her) and you’ll rest more (you won’t have to get up out of bed and can stay in a light sleep). By having her “cry” until you get up, she wakes up completely and so do you– leaving you both more exhausted than you have to be.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:05 am
Hi there. Your baby will sleep through the night as soon as she takes in enough nutrients to get her through without needing to wake for a feeding.
During the day, don’t let her sleep more than 2 hours at a clip, that will help.
Here’s an article I reference often on how much sleep babies need: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/how-much-sleep-do-children-need
April 15th, 2010 at 10:27 am
We had to finally let our first cry it out. Our former pediatrician (before we moved)was in practice with a Dr. who wrote a sleep book. Not everyone believes in it. I have found that his schedules and time lines for how much sleep etc work real well. Borrow it from the library or purchase one and see if anything speaks to you. It is quite sometime before they sleep through the night but by 4 mos they start to organnize sleep get a schedule.
Good luck