I have a 1 month old and I am doing the cry it out method…is this okay to do at 1 month?
ByI don’t want o get in the habit of holding him because then he will depend on it when I put him down for a nap or for bed. I want him to get used to putting himself to sleep. Is this a bad thing to do at 1 month?
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25 Comments
April 21st, 2010 at 8:37 pm
i don’t believe in this method at all theres no such thing as spoiling a baby but if you are just trying to teach them to get to sleep then one month is wayyyyyyyy to early for this yes they are not going to form habits at one month
April 21st, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I would not try the cry out method this soon. The baby is still developing attachment to you and deciding if he/she can depend on you. The baby will soon enter the trust/mistrust phase and you want your baby to know you will be there but not smother them. I would let the baby cry for a couple minutes, but if the crying persists you have to go hold your newborn.
April 21st, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Yes, it is a bad thing to do at one month. You cannot spoil a one month old child; he is just communicating with you in the only way he knows how. Even if you do “spoil” him now, he’s only one month old. what’s the worst that could happen as an infant? That he knows his mother is a source of love and comfort to him? As he gets much older, like 6 months, and he’s still crying, let him cry. But right now he is most likely crying because he needs something, even if it’s just comfort and attention.
April 21st, 2010 at 9:45 pm
It’s fine to do at any age Mom as long as you know they are clean, fed, burped, and not sick. Usually they say let them cry for about 10-15 min, then go in and calm them for about 2 min. Don’t pick them up, just use soothing tones and touches. Then leave the room. They soon get used to soothing themselves and settling down. You’re doing ok. Mom to 3.
April 21st, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Yes, it is bad to do at one month. A one month old is still so new to the world.
At that age, CIO has been shown to cause brain damage.
You cannot spoil a child under a year. Pick her up or she will become an emotionless child.
April 21st, 2010 at 10:28 pm
You are just a typical mom who hasn’t got used to having a little one around the house, its okay to hold him and spoil him just a little but you also need some time for yourself. Why not get a baby sitter at times so you can be by yourself and enjoy a little free time. Let daddy get used to him too.
April 21st, 2010 at 10:48 pm
I suggest that you comfort your child. The reason is because this is what the baby needs and wants. When the baby has calmed down enough you can put him down but with you still there. Rub his back gently while he is in the crib. Talk softly, and touch the baby until he/she is calm enough and actually goes to sleep. If you continue to just let him/her cry you won’t know how to differentiate between a cry and something is wrong. Go to your child they don’t stay small very long. They need your touch, your warmth,your love and attention. This is how they feel safe and secure.When you cry don’t you feel better when someone comforts you? So enjoy your baby that’s never a mistake. Best wishes.
April 21st, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I asked the same question when mine was born, because that’s the only way it seemed she would fall asleep. Its all up to you, mine was also a month at this point and what I did was get her tired, not to the point of sleeping yet, and then put her down. I put on white noise and stayed in the room to let her know I was there and she just put herself to sleep without crying, and that was it. If you do decide to I would say not to let him cry anymore than 10 min. this is the time when they develop the trust for you and lets them know that you will be there. Also my daughter did not like to sleep in her bed during the day, just her swing or chair. At night though she slept in her bed wonderfully, so if you do what I’m telling you, do it at night to start. But before, bath him, and feed him so he is tired and satisfied.
April 22nd, 2010 at 12:40 am
A VERY BAD THING TO DO!
http://www.continuum-concept.org/
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:00 am
I only let my son “cry it out” when I have completely exhausted all other options (no dirty diaper, not hungry, doesn’t want to be held or cuddled, not bored). At this point, I believe it is because he is overly tired and I lay him down in a dark room with music playing. If he has not stopped in ten minutes, I pick him back up and try again. A 1 month old is learning to communicate. There is a reason he is crying. He is also learning who he can trust in the world. If his crys go unanswered, he will learn that you cannot meet his needs. Go cuddle your baby, he needs you.
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:56 am
No way, that baby is to young for you to let he or she cry their self to sleep. Your not going spoil your baby by rocking them to sleep. At a month old your still in the bonding stage with your child, they need that comfort of feeling mom is there to make them feel better. My mother told me to try not to hold my babies to much because the would become attach and i would never be able to put them down. Well turns out she was wrong after awhile your baby does not want to be in your hands all the time they want to get down and play on there own and explore the world around them, so enjoy your baby while there still young, cuddle them and hold them as much as you can after awhile they don`t want mom or dad to hold that as much. Your baby will learn how to sleep on their own when the time is right don`t be in a hurry .
April 22nd, 2010 at 2:43 am
alot of people think its bad but i doit with my son since birth
April 22nd, 2010 at 2:54 am
NO, No and No. This baby is too young for the cry it out method. Yes you can let them cry for a while but not too long. Babies who are picked up and attended to promptly are less likely to cry than babies who are not. The cry it out method works for children over a year but is not meant for one month old infants.
April 22nd, 2010 at 3:15 am
I have 2 girls (2 1/2 and 14 months) and one on the way. I never let them cry it out.
I held them as much as they wanted me to.
Both of them go to sleep fine. I keep them on a schedule that they have been on since they were 10 weeks old and at bed time they get one song and a good night kiss.
They are not cryers and this seems to have worked well for us. I dont think the cry it out method is wrong in all cases but at at only 4 weeks its a little much.
I would wait at least till the baby was 3 or 4 months- until the baby can roll over on his/her own.
Just think if you were not able to roll over or burp on your own and someone just left you to cry. Good luck with your baby!!
April 22nd, 2010 at 3:26 am
Yes, this is a very bad thing to do to a tiny, defenseless little month old infant. Even the experts who do recommend CIO don’t suggest it prior to *6 months* of age.
A one month old baby does NOT cry to manipulate you but instead crys to COMMUNICATE with you. When a one month old baby crys, it NEEDS something. Sometimes what it needs is to be held. That is HEALTHY and GOOD for your baby. There are studies that prove it. A one month old is helpless and is SUPPOSED to depend on you for everything! Meeting your child’s needs now, while he is young and supposed to be dependent on you, will help him grow into a secure and independent person when he is older. (And this includes the NEED to be held!)
Remember that just a short little month ago, that baby was INSIDE you where he could see/hear/feel/smell/taste you every second of every day. He doesn’t even realize yet that the two of you are separate beings. If he can’t sense you, that is SCARY to him. Imagine waking up to find your leg gone. This is what it is like to him. And he also doesn’t understand yet that if he can’t sense you, you still exhist. This is the “fourth trimester” where he needs LOTS of holding and touching from you to grow and be healthy and secure.
Another reason CIO isn’t recommended this early on is that they are growing SOOOOooooo fast! They are working HARD to double their birthweight by 6 mos and they need to eat frequently. It’s important to respond to those cries!
April 22nd, 2010 at 4:13 am
YES!
You can’t spoil a child younger than six months.
The “cry it out” method IS NOT a method in my opinion. The first months of life is when the baby is learning to trust you and learning that you will be there for him…right now…all he’s learning is that it doesn’t matter why he’s crying…he’s on his own. And that’s heartbreaking!
The last time you were feeling bad did you want comfort from your husband or friends? Or did you want to be abandoned and alone to “cry it out”?
He’s brand new!! In a new scary place!! He needs comfort!
Go pick him up!! Cuddle him!! Love on him! “Cry it Out” is crap…
Before you know what happened he won’t want you to hug on him and love on him..cause he’ll be too cool for loves from mom….get it while you can mamma!!
You can start “ferberizing” when the child is old enough to distinguish behaviors from instincts…for now…stick to being at his beckon call…it’s ok…he’s an infant!
***If my rant wasn’t enough…here’s an article about it…explaining why you shouldn’t do it…and the actual harm it can cause.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html
April 22nd, 2010 at 4:22 am
No other animal in nature puts its newborn child away from it to sleep. Doesn’t it seem normal that a child would cry when taken away from his mother at this young age? Please don’t do this to your kid. I have 4 yo twins, and they both slept with me until they were three. They are now both sleeping successfully in their own beds. Take advantage of this time, your baby will only be little once, so snuggle, cuddle, and “spoil” til your heart’s content.
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:09 am
at one month you should not be letting cry it out…he is crying because he is hungry,wet or uncomfortable…he will not get used to it…at this age cuddling and bonding are the most important thing you should be worrying about,not getting him used to being held…at this age they are learning who they can trust and keep doing this and he will not trust you,he can not manipulate you at this young age
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:27 am
oh..poor baby… can u not do that to him? He’s too young for that. He has been cuddled inside u for 9months for 24hours. How can he be spoiled when he’s just out for 1month? i rocked and sing to my baby to sleep until he was 4months. Now he can sleep by himself and I never use the cry it out method. Fix schedule can make him used to the sleeping time. When it’s almost nap/sleep time, put him down (always at the same place that he sleeps) play same music for sleeping time, give a bottle or pacifier. Then he can sleep without needing to be held or rock anymore. Please give him all the attention at least in the 4th trimester (1-3months).
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:47 am
No it too early yet… i have a four month old son and the doctor just now said it ok for the him to cry it out… before that she said that he could cry but not for too long(helps clear the longs)… if he is getting in to the habit of being held then try a bath before bed and then lay him down next to you and rub his legs and arms and belly. With this your just trying to get him to relax.
i attach a link that will help you with fussying and getting him to relax… i hope that helps and answers your question.
Just a said note … right now your baby is bonding with you. he is learning your smell and trying to get to know you.
take care
April
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:26 am
Personally I don’t suggest the CIO method at ANY age, but if you insist on using it then, yes…one month is entirely too young. He’s still getting used to his surroundings and is finding out who he can depend on to tend to his needs. If you MUST do it, wait until he’s at LEAST six months old.
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:35 am
babies do not get spoiled at one month no matter what anyone says baby’s learn to become “spoiled” at 9 months when they start the separation phase…I’m a day care provider and i have studied child development…if Ur baby cries a lot it could be colic and or just wants to feel safe and warm i suggest u hold him/her they did just leave a safe warm place no too long ago put him on Ur chest to hear Ur heart beat or buy a heart beat thing at babies r us
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:30 am
You have to play it by ear. In the first couple months they really need the contact and frankly so do you. Remember that when you know they have been fed and changed and its time for sleep its perfectly ok. As they get older you find they get quite testy. They will always test you to learn limits. The hardest part for me so far is keeping my 6 mo old from sucking his thumb!
Good luck and go with your instincts.
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:39 am
at one month he is way to young for this! It is not recommended til they are 6 months old and some still do not feel comfortable with it. I did it when mine were 6 months and no regrets but 1 month is way way too young. You cannot let him cry. you can lay him down before he gets too tired and see if he will go to sleep but if he cries for more than a few minutes you need to go pick him up, swaddle him, rock him, nurse him or whatever else you can do to comfort him
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:41 am
he is to young! hold him as much as he wants. by around 3-4 months you can increase the times of picking him up by just a minute or 2,but for now try to respond to every cry as quick as possible!by 6 months you can try to let him cry a little to get to sleep on his own.