I’m trying the “cry it out” method, and my baby has been crying for 1 hour. Is this normal??
ByQuestion by JaDium: I’m trying the “cry it out” method, and my baby has been crying for 1 hour. Is this normal??
Best answer:
Answer by q6656303
its not long
presuming fed and nappy clean
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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22 Comments
February 22nd, 2012 at 11:07 pm
yeah : )
February 22nd, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Relax….you can go in and comfort till he/she stops (pat on the back) and then walk away…and hour is not long….but personally I owuld only let it go for about 30 minutes
February 22nd, 2012 at 11:32 pm
let him/her deal with it
if you back down you will lose him/her forever
show the baby whos boss
no means no!
February 23rd, 2012 at 12:14 am
Depends on how old the child is but an hour isn’t that long, altho I’m sure it feels like forever to you. Make sure the diaper is still clean and as long as they don’t need food or a diaper let ‘em cry it out.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:03 am
That’s a little long. I admire your strength. Have you ever tried turning on the vacuum or turning the radio up on a fuzzy station? It’s like magic.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:53 am
i wouldnt say an hour is normal any more than 10-15mins max i would think something is wrong it could be trapped wind,sore gums anything how old is ur baby?
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:30 am
It is ok as long as it isn’t constant. I would also go in and reassure your baby that he/she is ok. I did this with my daughter. I would go in after 10 minutes, rub her back and tell her that mommy is here. Then I would leave. If she was still crying after 15 minutes I would go back in again and repeat the process. Each time I would add 5 minutes to the time…I think reassuring the baby is good because then they know you are there. It worked for me and within two weeks she was taking naps and sleeping through the night. Before I tried this she hardly napped and slept. It was hard, but it really paid off. Now she is 9 months old and has slept through the night with no problem since she was 8 weeks old. And we put her down awake. She lays her head down and puts her thumb in her mouth and goes right to sleep most of the time. Good luck!
February 23rd, 2012 at 3:07 am
If you ask me the “cry it out” method is not normal. Babies need to feel secure. They need to feel that you are there for them.
Sure, eventually they will learn that you will not come when they cry and they will quit crying but is that a good thing? To feel abandoned and alone?
February 23rd, 2012 at 3:11 am
Have you increased the crying waiting time recently? Is it much longer than the baby usually cries? An hour is a lot of time. Have you checked to see if there is a wet or dirty diaper? Has the baby’s sleep schedule been disrupted recentlly? If fthe answer is yes, you may have to go back to more frequent checks, and gradually increase the amount of time again.
For you folks who rabidly disapprove of letting your baby “cry it out,” you obviously have no understanding whatsoever of the process, and your ignorance is showing. Please do a little research before jumping in and condemning it as child abuse.
“Ferber never says you should simply leave your baby in his crib and shut the door behind you. His progressive waiting approach allows you to gradually limit the time you spend in your child’s room while providing regular comfort and reassurance — as well as reassuring yourself that he’s okay.
“Some of the controversy surrounding the Ferber method also springs from widespread misunderstanding about what his method actually involves.”
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/7755.html#1
February 23rd, 2012 at 4:07 am
yes it is depending on how old they are just check on him/her every 10 min and lay him/her back down and don’t say anything and calm them back down and walk back out just make sure their ok my I’m doing that now with my daughter and she is 13mos old and she is already getting better at going to sleep by the 3rd night. every night it will be less crying until they get the idea I wish I started sooner but things are good so far.
February 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 am
It totally depends on the circumstances — age of the baby, health, etc.
And, are you going in to reassure the baby or going about this cold turkey? Are you making sorrowful faces, or are you neutral? Are you picking the baby up and then putting them back down?
If this is a tiny baby — 3 months or less — do not let them cry that long. Hold, rock sing to them. Help them learn to relax. Then when they are relaxed, try again. Neutral face, light hug and kiss, and off you go. Do not keep checking on the baby. Also try leaving lullabies on softly in the room — EVERYTIME! Consistency is the word!
If this is an older baby, try the same but maybe reassure them by sitting near the bed but don’t look at the baby. Read or just look away. They have to learn it is o.k. to not be held or picked up and they are safe and loved still!
Toddler? Same but just put into bed and go back in maybe twice for reassurance then sit by door and do not look at child.
I assure you it will pass — they have to learn they are o.k. from you! You have to help them learn by not rescuing them or also by not punishing them — ever — around the basics (eating, sleeping, potty) !
February 23rd, 2012 at 5:14 am
I used this method and yes it is normal if you are first starting.
Here is how I did it and within 3 weeks it was over.
I did the night time routine. We brushed teeth, bath, dressed, cuddle time and story time (not in their bed). Then I laid my son down and tucked him in and left the room. Come back in 5 minutes. Comfort the baby, this does not mean they will stop cryin completely, but let him/her know you are there. Leave the room. Come back in another 5 and repeat for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes come in every 10 minutes. Do this until baby is quiet. If he/she is still pouting lightly, do not go in the room. After you are assured he/she is sleeping simply go cover him/her.
The first few nights my son cried for 2 hours. After about 4 days it went down by half and by midweek two it was down to about 30-45 minutes. At mid week 3 it was nothing.
Now even after you think you have him/her “trained”, he/she might try to change back. So if later you have a rough night, I promise it is normal. Just go back to the 5 and 10 minute thing.
February 23rd, 2012 at 5:57 am
Is it normal to let your baby cry for an hour? No it is not.
If you cried for an hour and your husband ignored you how would YOU feel?
“Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:”
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
February 23rd, 2012 at 6:27 am
I read that from 3 months onwards, it can take an hour for a baby to settle. I’ve noticed with my nearly 5 month old, she used to take 1 hour to settle. I would put the dummy in and turn on the music. Then if she cries, I would leave her for 10 or so minutes, then put the dummy in again. maybe do this two or three times. If her cry changed to a tanty sound then I would know she wouldn’t go to sleep. My baby cried, then was quiet, then cried again. That start stop cry would let me know she really was tired. Now it can take 2 minutes to 20 minutes for her to settle. Usually she goes quiet, talks to herself, and eventually nods off without any more crying. I’ve read that having music helps them settle but in order for them to settle themselves when they wake from a short nap, they still need the same conditions they went to sleep with. CD player with repeated music and a night light sounds good. Hope this helps.
I know these worked when I worked in the baby’s room at work. At the start 8 babies kept crying altogether, but eventually they learnt that we weren’t going to get them out just because they were crying (we comforted them ofcourse but there is only so much you can do if all babies cried) and they started settleing themselves, even when there were other babies crying around them. In the end we got all the babies into a routine and they only cried up to 10 minutes in the end.
February 23rd, 2012 at 6:29 am
My husband and I usually let our daughter cry it out if she’s still fussy after being fed, burped, and changed. We know that she’s full, comfortable, and dry, so that’s when we let her cry, which usually only lasts for 5-15 minutes. When she starts the bloodcurdling cries and scream, we’ll go in and comfort her. Personally, I wouldn’t let my baby cry for a solid hour, but then again, she usually only cries when she needs something, and every baby is different. Good luck!
February 23rd, 2012 at 7:00 am
Oh ya that is toooooo normal. We did that with my son and eventualy had to stop because no matter how long we left him he just kept crying. It really depends on why your doing it too. Your child might need something to help comfort them at night like a blanket or passy untill they learn how to do so on their own. We found out that the hard way.
February 23rd, 2012 at 7:36 am
That’s horrible. Your poor little baby will be traumatized…go pick up your child, he/she only wants your attention.
February 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 am
I personally do not like the “cry it out” method. I feel that a baby needs to be comforted and feel safe in your arms. Yeah, it may be a pain now, but they grow up so fast. They need to know that you are there.
I have a 5 and 3 year old. I never used the method and they both are perfectly normal.
February 23rd, 2012 at 8:39 am
Try another method. Crying it out leaves babies (young) insecure and tends to make them cry even more. They can grow to not trust you and their world.
Normal nowadays is picking up that baby, rocking, comforting and soothing them. Responding to cries secures a healthy attachment to your baby.
Cry it out is old fashioned and most pediatricians advise us moms not to.
Find a sleep training method that doesn’t use crying it out. You don’t want your baby to associate sleep with stress.
Crying for an hour is stressing to their little systems both physically and emotionally.
The idea is that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cozy nighttime rituals and by quickly responding to your baby’s requests for food and comfort.
February 23rd, 2012 at 9:16 am
That’s kind of extensive!
I hope you’re not using the “cry it out” method b/c you “think” you’ll spoil your baby if you hold him/her alot.
It boggles my mind how people actually fall for that!
He/she is a baby, baby needs love and security, by holding them alot makes them feel secure, which in turn, builds independence and self reliance.
By ignoring them and allowing them to cry for so long-THAT is cruelty. That is what will cause them to feel insecure and anxious. Babies cry. That’s the way they communicate with us. By ignoring them will only create further problems and an insecure baby.
Allow babies to be babies.
February 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 am
Dr. T. Barry Brazleton recommends not more than 10 minutes of unattended crying. You do need to check back to reassure your child he/she has not been abandoned. Dr. Brazleton also recommends only verbal reassurance, no touching or holding. Mostly this method is used to help children learn how to put themselves to sleep. If you are giving the child physical comfort, that may be enough reward to keep them crying.
February 23rd, 2012 at 10:53 am
You shouldn’t be doing the Ferber method unless the baby is able to sleep through the night. Our Dr. highly recommends the method for babies over 5 1/2 months. My son was about 5 1/2 months when we did it and I don’t regret it at all.
The first night he cried for nearly 2 hours on and off and slept the rest of the night. The next night it was 1 hour. The next night 20 minutes and then after that, about 5 minutes. Of course I checked on him every few mintues and patted his back.
Once in awhile we have set backs and he cries, but 98% of the time he mostly talks to himself and falls asleep with his bunny.
If you do the Dr. Sears thing, be prepared to have your child in bed with you for a long long time. Eventually you will have to break him of it one way or another.
My friend has a son the same age as mine (20 months). She had postpartum depression and it sort of never went away because her son doesn’t sleep throught the night yet. What a nightmare for her. He gets up at around 3 each morning and won’t go back to sleep until around 6 or 7. She has problems with her marriage, and she is always tired and depressed and her husband is no help. I, however can lay my son down at night ( at
after we read stories and say prayers. The rest of the night is for my husband and myself to do whatever. He wakes up at 9:00 am the next day, happy and rested and ready for the day.