Is letting a baby cry in your arms the same as ‘crying it out’?
ByFor example, baby is hungry, I am finishing a task, so dad has to hold him for a few minutes until I can feed him, and he’s crying his head off…but dad is holding and trying to soothe the whole time. I hate to hear him cry but I know I’ll be right with him and he is being loved- is this damaging like the notorious ‘crying it out’ method?
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15 Comments
April 13th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Usually when people use the “cry it out” method they are laying their baby down in their crib, swing, etc. by themselves. Having your husband hold your baby isn’t the same as this as he is trying to comfort and sooth him and your baby knows he’s right there.
April 13th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
No it’s not the same. Crying it out is when you leave them in their crib alone.
As long as your husband is trying to soothe him, you can go ahead and finish your task…he won’t be damaged
April 14th, 2010 at 12:12 am
“Crying it out” is not damaging when it is done responsibly. It’s all about how long you are letting them cry it out and that depends on age. It teaches the baby to self soothe and get to sleep on it’s on. However you know the baby is hungry…that’s why the baby is crying. That’s not crying it out…that’s just I’m Hungry crying.
April 14th, 2010 at 12:55 am
No…The “Cry it out” is a baby sleep training method. Its letting your baby cry himself to sleep to teach him not to have to rely on you to be able to fall asleep.
Every good mother hates to hear their baby cry. I don’t think what you are doing is damaging at all. As long as your baby is healthy and gains weight appropriately, it won’t hurt him to be w/ daddy for a sec while you try to finish up. Its not like ya’ll just leave him on the floor and ignore him. He’ll be fine, and he knows he’s loved.
EDIT: Hey why the thumbs down? I did not say anything different than everyone else said. I have a link to prove that that is what the definition of “Crying it out” means. I did not say that it is ok and everyone should do it. I was simply giving a defintiion people.
April 14th, 2010 at 1:36 am
No that is not the “cry it out” method. Also, the “cry it out method” is not damaging, just ask the thousands of us who have done it.
The reason I was so upset by the question is because it is irresponsible for the asker to say something is “damaging” when that is only her opinion, not a proven fact. Every mother is different and should do what feels right for them and not judge those of us who may choose something different than they would. I did the cry it out method and he is wonderful, loved, independent, curious, and a hundred more wonderful things-not damaged!
April 14th, 2010 at 2:19 am
It is all a matter of opinion! I believe letting a baby cry will NOT damage them. They only have one way to communicate and crying is it. Learning to recognize their different cries is an art all should master. I also do not believe the “cry it out” method is for anything but sleep training. A baby will fuss to get what he or she needs, don’t fret about it. Sounds like you are trying to be a loving mother and that is the most important thing of all!
April 14th, 2010 at 2:21 am
No. It’s not the same because even though the baby is screaming he knows someone is there for him. He’s just a hungry guy. The CIO method usually entails the baby being alone in bed…much more traumatic.
April 14th, 2010 at 2:23 am
no cuz when you let them cry it out they are in a bed or something like that but if the baby is hungey and you are the only one who can feed him then nothing is to important then feeding your baby
April 14th, 2010 at 3:09 am
youre right to let him cry for a while or hell get used to you feeding him straight away, hell be spoilt when he grows up and want everything straight away, i have a 9 wk old i let him cry at least 5 mins before feeding him, i made the mistake with my first born of getting things straight away for her and she was a nightmare come 6 months, youre doing the right thing dont feel guilty!!
April 14th, 2010 at 4:09 am
As what others said, CIO is sleep training and leaving the baby alone in the crib.
Letting baby cry for a couple of minutes while you are finishing something up is fine. I sometimes don’t have a bottle ready right away and my son cries in his swing for a minute while I get it, but I talk to him and tell him “food is coming, it’s okay” and that’s just fine.
You are human, it’s okay!
April 14th, 2010 at 4:42 am
well first off i wouldnt start the crying out method till about 4 to 5 months when ther younger then that they cry because of something, As far as the crying method it is best you put the baby in its own bed go back and check every 5 to 10 minuts if ther crying hard the first time you go in tell them you love them and lay the baby back down then after that every time you go in you just re lay the baby down and dont say any thing and keep on till they fall a sleep BE STRONG! unless ther sick! then every night will become a lot easyer and less time consuming Good Luck and this method dose work Its so hard to see are babys cry but it will pay off <3
April 14th, 2010 at 5:09 am
Ferberisation, which refers to the method used to force the baby to sleep in its own room alone, is not the same as having your husband hold on to your baby while you’re preparing to feed. As long as baby knows that he’s got someone who knows he’s distressed, and is trying to do something about it, he will develop a sense of confidence that he is safe, and that his caretakers are there to protect him. It’s the sort of confidence that can’t be matched by letting baby continue to scream, while being ignored by the caretakers.
April 14th, 2010 at 6:06 am
It’s not the same thing at all. Baby is in the arms of someone who lives him. He feels that love during his distress. CIO is leaving the child alone and feeling abandoned.
April 14th, 2010 at 6:56 am
No because he’s not throwing a tantrum, hes hungry. I would drop what i was doing to feed my child if he was a baby and hungry..you could have dad make up a bottle too if you’re too busy…Or if you’re not using a bottle for some reason you could maybe have dad look after what you were doing for a few minutes.
April 14th, 2010 at 7:03 am
No, but it still isn’t great for the baby. Not to say you can’t do it when you have to obviously, but you should still try to limit the amount of time a baby cries because it can cause the baby to swallow air leading to gas and aggravating reflux. It also raises cortisol levels.