Comments on: Is this considered “letting the baby cry it out”? http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out Resources for the new and expectant mother. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: gozaine http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32914 gozaine Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:00:36 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32914 One of my daughters needed to be cuddled to sleep. The other actually prefered to be left to have a little cry. Do what works for you, he will be fine. One of my daughters needed to be cuddled to sleep. The other actually prefered to be left to have a little cry. Do what works for you, he will be fine.

]]> By: CHERI S http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32913 CHERI S Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:25:05 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32913 You are creating a bad pattern that will not go away until after he is in school so I would not do that anymore. You don't want to spend every night patting him on the back till he's 5! If he's fed, dry diaper, no rash, no illness, etc and you know everything is as it should be, then dress him warm enough for the room, not to warm, not to cold, and lie him down and leave the room. Leave a night light on so he can look around if he needs to but he needs to learn to self soothe and go to sleep on his own. Crying won't hurt him. Peek in so he doesn't see you every so often but DO NOT go back in so he sees you. He won't be clingy or trust you less. A parent has to teach their child indepence gradually as they grow up, lengthening the "leash" a little bit every year until you finally let them fly away on their own. This is just the beginning and each step is harder but bedtime rituals are an important part of learning and he just needs to learn to fall asleep on his own because if he doesn't then you will have bedtime issues for a very long time. You are creating a bad pattern that will not go away until after he is in school so I would not do that anymore. You don’t want to spend every night patting him on the back till he’s 5!

If he’s fed, dry diaper, no rash, no illness, etc and you know everything is as it should be, then dress him warm enough for the room, not to warm, not to cold, and lie him down and leave the room. Leave a night light on so he can look around if he needs to but he needs to learn to self soothe and go to sleep on his own. Crying won’t hurt him. Peek in so he doesn’t see you every so often but DO NOT go back in so he sees you.

He won’t be clingy or trust you less. A parent has to teach their child indepence gradually as they grow up, lengthening the “leash” a little bit every year until you finally let them fly away on their own. This is just the beginning and each step is harder but bedtime rituals are an important part of learning and he just needs to learn to fall asleep on his own because if he doesn’t then you will have bedtime issues for a very long time.

]]> By: TheDude'sLadyFriend http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32912 TheDude'sLadyFriend Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:05:32 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32912 I think you're doing the right thing. I'm not sure I buy the theory that your child will feel abandoned if you leave him for ten minutes at a time in his crib. As if we don't feel guilty often enough. I can relate, as I do basically the same as you...I put my daughter down BEFORE she's fallen asleep....and I know she is tired and ready for bed. If she fusses or cries I go in and rub her back, speak softly to her and let her know I'm there. Then I leave. Sometimes I have to do this several times, for quite a while. It depends if she's overtired or overstimulated etc. but overall it works pretty well. I don't think it's the same as letting him cry it out. I think you're doing just fine...keep it up, stay consistent and over time he will learn that it is bedtime and time to go to sleep. I think you’re doing the right thing. I’m not sure I buy the theory that your child will feel abandoned if you leave him for ten minutes at a time in his crib. As if we don’t feel guilty often enough.
I can relate, as I do basically the same as you…I put my daughter down BEFORE she’s fallen asleep….and I know she is tired and ready for bed. If she fusses or cries I go in and rub her back, speak softly to her and let her know I’m there. Then I leave. Sometimes I have to do this several times, for quite a while. It depends if she’s overtired or overstimulated etc. but overall it works pretty well.
I don’t think it’s the same as letting him cry it out. I think you’re doing just fine…keep it up, stay consistent and over time he will learn that it is bedtime and time to go to sleep.

]]> By: gtam4 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32911 gtam4 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 13:45:42 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32911 When my 3 year old was a baby, I let him cry it out and never stayed in the room with him. He is neither clingy or distrustful of us. I felt bad though for all the crying and screaming. After a week or two, the crying stopped. He would fall asleep moments after laying him down. Now, I also have a 2 year old. She screamed and cried a whole lot more and it was heartbreaking. So, I did kind of the same routine you are doing. Now, she won't go to sleep without me in the room. My uncle and Aunt have a 9 year old son who still sleeps in their room. She did the same thing that I did with my 2 year old and what you are doing with your child. Now, he cannot sleep unless he is near her. He won't even have sleepovers with his friends because he needs his mom right there with him. I am not saying it will be the same with your child though because every child is different. But, I would try letting the baby cry it out without you in the room. I saw on that Nanny show too that you should not give them any kind of stimulation. You could try one night just sitting next to the crib or the bed where he can see you, but not talking to him or rubbing his back or anything like that. I'm not sure how old your child is, but if he tries to climb out of the crib, just put him back in without saying anything and sit back down. Each night, move further and further away from the crib/bed. Eventually, you will be outside the door, or just around the corner. He will eventually stop crying and just go to sleep. After seeing how well it worked for the family the Nanny was helping, I decided to try this with my two year old and it seems to be working out alright so far. Give it a try and see if it works for you. When my 3 year old was a baby, I let him cry it out and never stayed in the room with him. He is neither clingy or distrustful of us. I felt bad though for all the crying and screaming. After a week or two, the crying stopped. He would fall asleep moments after laying him down.
Now, I also have a 2 year old. She screamed and cried a whole lot more and it was heartbreaking. So, I did kind of the same routine you are doing. Now, she won’t go to sleep without me in the room.
My uncle and Aunt have a 9 year old son who still sleeps in their room. She did the same thing that I did with my 2 year old and what you are doing with your child. Now, he cannot sleep unless he is near her. He won’t even have sleepovers with his friends because he needs his mom right there with him.
I am not saying it will be the same with your child though because every child is different. But, I would try letting the baby cry it out without you in the room. I saw on that Nanny show too that you should not give them any kind of stimulation. You could try one night just sitting next to the crib or the bed where he can see you, but not talking to him or rubbing his back or anything like that. I’m not sure how old your child is, but if he tries to climb out of the crib, just put him back in without saying anything and sit back down. Each night, move further and further away from the crib/bed. Eventually, you will be outside the door, or just around the corner. He will eventually stop crying and just go to sleep. After seeing how well it worked for the family the Nanny was helping, I decided to try this with my two year old and it seems to be working out alright so far. Give it a try and see if it works for you.

]]> By: Ocean Girl! http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32910 Ocean Girl! Sun, 18 Apr 2010 12:57:39 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32910 That is techinically letting him cry it out since your not actually holding him and comforting him. Did you know that there have been studies done that show that babies who were held a lot compared to those who weren't ended up doing better socialy and educationaly when they grew up? And if there is a premature baby in the hospital that is sadly hooked up to machines and has to have a blue light on him to make sure he doesn't get jaundic does get better and heals faster than one who wouldn't get hugged and held at all. If you don't hold your kid he will be clingy to other people just cuz he will always know there is a part of him that needs something that can't be explained...love. Love is not just disciplining the kid all time. You have to hold it, hug it, kiss it, and play with it. He learns how to socialize doing this with his parents. And you may not realize it but you are laying a good foundation by holding him and comforting him. He will grow up to love his own family. Theres nothing wrong with holding and comforting him. Theres a bunch of things wrong with not holding and comforting him. Not holding and comforting him will not only make him independant in a bad way but it will also make him anti-social. He is going to have problems trying to express himself to other kids. That is techinically letting him cry it out since your not actually holding him and comforting him. Did you know that there have been studies done that show that babies who were held a lot compared to those who weren’t ended up doing better socialy and educationaly when they grew up? And if there is a premature baby in the hospital that is sadly hooked up to machines and has to have a blue light on him to make sure he doesn’t get jaundic does get better and heals faster than one who wouldn’t get hugged and held at all. If you don’t hold your kid he will be clingy to other people just cuz he will always know there is a part of him that needs something that can’t be explained…love. Love is not just disciplining the kid all time. You have to hold it, hug it, kiss it, and play with it. He learns how to socialize doing this with his parents. And you may not realize it but you are laying a good foundation by holding him and comforting him. He will grow up to love his own family. Theres nothing wrong with holding and comforting him. Theres a bunch of things wrong with not holding and comforting him. Not holding and comforting him will not only make him independant in a bad way but it will also make him anti-social. He is going to have problems trying to express himself to other kids.

]]> By: E. http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32909 E. Sun, 18 Apr 2010 12:05:51 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32909 This is a hard one to deal with I know. I think leaving a crying baby in a room alone is not the way to go, that's just my opinion. The whole self soothe "meet the fockers", let him cry it out method is crazy. You are doing fine with the patting and eventually he will cry less and less and he will just know that it is nap time or sleepy time or whatever. You are doing the right thing if you ask me. Good Work. This is a hard one to deal with I know. I think leaving a crying baby in a room alone is not the way to go, that’s just my opinion. The whole self soothe “meet the fockers”, let him cry it out method is crazy. You are doing fine with the patting and eventually he will cry less and less and he will just know that it is nap time or sleepy time or whatever. You are doing the right thing if you ask me. Good Work.

]]> By: Rainbow http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32908 Rainbow Sun, 18 Apr 2010 11:46:08 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32908 What you are doing is fine and he will eventually learn to go off to sleep alone. This method wont cause him problems later in life, its obvious you are a loving caring mother so he will grow up feeling loved and secure. I think this method is more traumatic for the mother than baby, they are resiliant little things. Keep up the good work! x What you are doing is fine and he will eventually learn to go off to sleep alone. This method wont cause him problems later in life, its obvious you are a loving caring mother so he will grow up feeling loved and secure. I think this method is more traumatic for the mother than baby, they are resiliant little things. Keep up the good work! x

]]> By: DragonLady http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32907 DragonLady Sun, 18 Apr 2010 11:29:29 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32907 Depends on how old he is. Usually if the baby is under 4 months they say do not le tthe baby cry it out because the baby will feel insecure and alone. By 6 months of age it is ok to let him cry it out for a little while but usually not over 10 minutes because something may be wrong. I have been told if you wrap yourself up in the babies blanket that it will leave your "scent" on there. Then you just place it on the baby and it is like you are there with them all night I found the miracle of Lavender baby bath. I would bathe of shower with my daughter with lavender baby bath and she would zonk out within 15 minutes, Not everytime but it has worked well Depends on how old he is. Usually if the baby is under 4 months they say do not le tthe baby cry it out because the baby will feel insecure and alone. By 6 months of age it is ok to let him cry it out for a little while but usually not over 10 minutes because something may be wrong.

I have been told if you wrap yourself up in the babies blanket that it will leave your “scent” on there. Then you just place it on the baby and it is like you are there with them all night

I found the miracle of Lavender baby bath. I would bathe of shower with my daughter with lavender baby bath and she would zonk out within 15 minutes, Not everytime but it has worked well

]]> By: laesjb http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32906 laesjb Sun, 18 Apr 2010 10:38:32 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32906 It is not the 'letting them cry it out' method. You have to do what you think is best. This is your child and you need to be happy and comfortable with the method that you are using to get your child to go to sleep. As for the lack of trust or clinginess later on, I have not had that experience. Both of my children learned to self-pacify at 6 months. They are 8 and 9 now and have no trouble going to bed, going to sleep or being apart from us. They are also not clingy. I sort of wish that they were. I guess that my advise is for you to do what works for you and what you are comfortable with. This is your child and no one can tell you what the correct way is to get your child to sleep. It is something that every mother has to figure out for herself. It is not the ‘letting them cry it out’ method. You have to do what you think is best. This is your child and you need to be happy and comfortable with the method that you are using to get your child to go to sleep.

As for the lack of trust or clinginess later on, I have not had that experience. Both of my children learned to self-pacify at 6 months. They are 8 and 9 now and have no trouble going to bed, going to sleep or being apart from us. They are also not clingy. I sort of wish that they were.

I guess that my advise is for you to do what works for you and what you are comfortable with. This is your child and no one can tell you what the correct way is to get your child to sleep. It is something that every mother has to figure out for herself.

]]> By: CPR http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out/comment-page-1#comment-32905 CPR Sun, 18 Apr 2010 09:41:25 +0000 http://thepregnantnews.com/emotions/is-this-considered-letting-the-baby-cry-it-out#comment-32905 leaving the room is better in the long run it's what i did for my son now he doesnt cry at all. my niece on the other hand has been held and rocked to sleep and will not stay sleeping when put into crib for more than 15 minutes then they pick her right up again. as long as your baby isnt completely freaking out just let him cry when he's tired. my son isnt clingy at all and he trusts me so it worked for me. leaving the room is better in the long run it’s what i did for my son now he doesnt cry at all. my niece on the other hand has been held and rocked to sleep and will not stay sleeping when put into crib for more than 15 minutes then they pick her right up again. as long as your baby isnt completely freaking out just let him cry when he’s tired. my son isnt clingy at all and he trusts me so it worked for me.

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