mothers how did you teach your baby to self settle themselves to sleep? NO cry it out method answers?
Byi usualy nurse my 10 week old son to sleep at night
but a maternal health nurse said to put him to bed awake so he can learn to settle himself before his 4 month growth spurt so he can put himself back to sleep during the night
but everytime i put him in his bassinet awake he cries till i pick him up
2nite is especialy bad he keeps waking up and screaming every 10 minutes
how can i teach him to put himself to sleep?
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9 Comments
April 17th, 2010 at 6:49 am
I know you said that you didn’t want any cry it out method answers but I’ve got to tell you, that’s usually how babies learn to put themselves to sleep.
Although I would say that your son is a bit young for that method. Most doctors don’t recommend trying the cry it out method until baby is closer to 6 months old.
Does your bassinet have a vibrate option? That helped my youngest son when he was around that age. Or maybe you could try a bouncer?
April 17th, 2010 at 7:21 am
I’m no expert, but thismay put you on a helpful path:
There are soothing techniques you can do without taking them out of the cot. This is less intervention by you, so the baby is going to feel more independent about soothing.
Like stroking his/her head/back/whatever, while making soothing noises
Or just holding them tight while making soothing noises. The pressure (obviously not heaps! just a nice, safe-feeling pressure) helps to soothe, and feels comforting, the human warm touch.
Its a contentious debate, but I personally feel 10 weeks old is way too young to expect your child to do it all himself – he needs some help to learn to soothe himself.
Keep up the good work x
April 17th, 2010 at 7:23 am
when my son was born i straight away put him to bed awake.. it is no harm to let him cry for a few mins now as he is a boy he cant be left to cry for too long as he could give himself a hernia … id put him in give him a dummy and say goodnight if you have a cot mobile switch it on leave him 5 mins and then go back in put the dummy back in and say goodnight again… keep doing this he is crying because he knows you will pick him up i no its hard but you’ve got to stick to it trust me i had my son sleeping 9 to 9 at 6 weeks old
April 17th, 2010 at 7:41 am
I just ordered a book called “The No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley and have heard great reviews about it. I don’t know how it works yet as I have not received it, but I was able to order a used copy off amazon and with shipping it was only $10. My son is 6 months and has difficulty sleeping, but I am also completely against the CIO method. 10 weeks is still young – I am sorry I don’t have the book yet and can’t offer any other advice. Congrats on the new baby and best of luck to you!
April 17th, 2010 at 8:11 am
Okay, please ignore what the nurse said. Your baby is not even 3 months old.
At this point he still needs to be rocked to sleep..and you doing so is not going to stop him from learning to self settle.
My dr. did not even begin to suggest putting to bed awake and teaching her to self soothe until after 6 months.
So if you are going to do it this early..still remember his cries are NEEDS not wants at this point.
But what I do for my 8 month old is..I nurse her and then lay her down while she is *drowsy* I then turn on her little crib soother thing (its like a little aquarium that plays lullabies) and I lay her on her side and rub her back..
It takes 5-10 minutes but she is now learning to fall asleep without being in my arms. once she gets this down, then I will cut out the back rubbing..
your baby is still really young, so take small steps at a time, you cant expect him to just know how to fall asleep on his own.
April 17th, 2010 at 8:38 am
To be totally honest with you, you are in for one of the hardest times of your life, but once you get past this stage, you will look back and be glad that you put in the effort to start with.
I took my baby to sleep class and they taught me what I needed to do to help him settle. They were very tough on him and if I had of done it the same way they suggested, I think he would have settled much quicker (they sort of do the CIO method), the way I did it took longer, but he was not becoming hysterical and we got there in the end.
As he was just under 6 months old I was a little tough, but in some ways also very lenient.
When he wakes pat him gently on the bum,back, chest (whichever is easiest to get to) and SHHHHHH him, if he is crying, make the patting firm – but not hard, with a cupped hand. Do the shhhhhhing loud enough for him to hear over his screaming. As he starts to settle, slow down the patting and quieten the shhhhhhhing.
I was given the option of either putting him down fully awake and doing the sssshhhhhing and patting or getting him nearly asleep and then trying. I chose to put him down fully awake while I was in the class, but once I got him home I realized that this was not working so I started to cuddle him until he was “just about asleep”, I then put him in his bed and continued with the settling technique (ssshhh, patting).
I was absolutely exhausted every time but found that he went from 20 minute cat naps to between 1 and 3 hour sleeps nearly every day. Admittedly, it did take me a good month or so to do it, but I made sure that I was consistent and when he woke after a sleep of less than an hour, I used this method. It is tough on you and him but since I have used this method he has around 4 – 6 days per week of 2 – 3 hour sleeps in the afternoon and he is 10 months old. He never slept this amount of time before I tried this method.
Good luck, It will be tiring, but I promise, you will appreciate it in months to come when he is sleeping beautifully (even when he is teething and sick)….
April 17th, 2010 at 9:08 am
You know, its not a bad idea to help him learn to self soothe – even at 10 weeks. I would think that at this age, a really easy way would be to do things you’d be doing in your routine when he gets older anyway. Dim lights, white noise machine or fan or lullaby music. You can rub his back, let him suck on a dummy, talk softly, have a blankie with him that you’ve been “wearing” all day so it smells like you, use a crib toy that projects pictures, has lights and plays music so he can watch it til he gets drowsy… hope some of this helps.
April 17th, 2010 at 10:07 am
What I have noticed that works with my son which might sound a little crazy however I put a shirt of mine in with him when I lay him down its a very simple concept it smells like momma is laying down with him so he feels safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep. Just make sure its close enough he can grab it but not too close to where its up against his nose obviously.
April 17th, 2010 at 10:47 am
i did a cry it out method with my eldest when he was 10 1/2 months old, he was waking up at night about 8 – 9 times every night, just for a little bit of booby and going back to sleep again for about 45 mins, it was just 1 vicious cycle.
I saw a sleep therapist and she said, it isnt to be done b4 6 months, but leaving them to cry it out (not going in there every ten mins) will help them to learn.
i did this and it only took 4 days, he now sleeps through the night and has done since that point. i feel really lucky.
I am all for doing it, it doesnt hurt the baby, there is nothing wrong with him and you know where he is, that he is safe. i am going to do it with my second son when he is about 7 months old too.
i know you didnt want this kind of answer, but honestly i dint think there is any other way, if you use dummies, snuggle blankets, wraps etc, it is all settling for him, he isnt learning how to do it himself. they learn a specific way that they like.
if you are really worried about him, i suggest getting a monitor which hooke up to the television so you can see him at all times (although this may be tempting for you to go in andrescuee him).
Just a couple of ideas, do with it what you will.
Good luck xx