What is the best age to start the “Cry it out” method?
ByI have a 3 1/2month old and he has gotten into the habit of wanting to sleep with my husband and I and not in his crib. Should I star the cry it out method now? Or just try every night to get him to sleep in his crib until he will without crying?
Related posts:
- Cry it out Method-Does it work on a baby that is 10 months old & is standing up in the crib already?
- Abandoning the “Cry it out” method?
- What age is the best time to start the “cry it out” method?
- Sleep Question (for people who subscribe to the “Cry it out” method ONLY)?
- Has anyone tried the “let it cry out” sleeping method for babies?
20 Comments
April 6th, 2010 at 5:51 am
never. Babies need to be reasured that all their needs will be met and the only way they can let you know they need something is to cry. By addressing the crying and not “letting them cry it out” you are teaching them to trust others and the world around them.
April 6th, 2010 at 6:14 am
never. you ever see those kids in the store screaming because they want something and their parents are just walking away from them…not handling the situation. well those kids are products of cio.
April 6th, 2010 at 6:20 am
Nope it’s fine now…I did all three of our girls and believe me I wouldn’t change a thing…my sister-n-law didn’t and waited I thought to long and still has a hard time with her little one…I say start now it’s better for you and the baby..=)
April 6th, 2010 at 6:49 am
let him cry it out
April 6th, 2010 at 7:02 am
In my experience (with a now 9 month old) he will get used to what you do. I would start putting him in his crib. If it’s the sound more than being next to a person, put the crib or bassinet next to the bed. My husband and I had 2 or 3 different sleepers (not sure on the name) but they go in between you and spouse in bed for safety that the baby can sleep in. Maybe that way, he’ll get used to sleeping near with maybe just someones hand on him, and that could be a transition to get him in the crib. I hated when I switched my baby to his own room at about 4 months, but now, it works out better!
April 6th, 2010 at 7:57 am
Yes, and during the day too.
April 6th, 2010 at 8:52 am
Never…..Cry it out is horrible and not meeting your babies needs. It is training your baby to be docile and to fit into your life whenever it is convenient for you. Try putting your baby to sleep by rocking him and then putting him in his crib. Or put him in his crib while he is tired and see if he will go to sleep on his own without crying. It won’t hurt him at all to attend to his needs and it is not spoiling him to rock him to sleep.
April 6th, 2010 at 9:47 am
I believe the method you’re speaking of is the ferber method and it’s very effective. Babies start making habits and recognizing patterns at 4 months so now is definitely the time to do it. Letting him cry will be harder for you than for him and it wont teach him not to trust the world, it’ll teach him that he doesn’t control the world and you wont have to put up with him sleeping in your bed until he’s 10.
And for cades mommy… those kids in the store are screaming because their parents trained them to think that “screaming” would get them whatever they wanted. Children need discipline.
Obviously I’m, nor do Ithink the mom that asked this question is ignorant enough not to tend to our baby’s needs before putting them to bed and throughout the night. Sleeping in bed with your parents is not a NEED!!!
April 6th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Cry it out is an excuse for parents to neglect their babies when it’s dark outside. That’s sad. : (
April 6th, 2010 at 10:55 am
i started this method when my son was about 2 months, – once i settled him in bed for sleep he didnt scream for very long at all. from the third night he was able to put himself to sleep and only woke once a night for a feed. by four months he was sleeping for 13 hours a night. (unless sick)
i think if your baby has all his needs met (feed,changed, right temp, etc) then you place him in the bed comfortably he will be fine.
to settle my son in his bed i swaddled him layed him down and then using two fingers i gently patted him on his stomach or side (whilst he layed on his back) so that he could feel the patting but it wasnt hard enough that he would rely on it to sleep and it wasnt rocking him which he would also rely on to get to sleep. after i could see that he was content i would lengthen the time between each “pat” until i stopped and left the room.
April 6th, 2010 at 11:23 am
How about we strap you to a bed and not let you have any water, get up to pee, or even have much ability to get yourself in a more comfortable position. Defintily you won’t be allowed to control your own temperature through the use of blankets. And no matter what happens, no matter what you say you need you have to stay there for upwards of 12 hours.
Better yet picture your favorite grandma in a nursing home because she can’t get in and out of bed on her own. She’s thirsty, she’s crying out for someone to come give her a glass of water. Or maybe she needs a bedpan. But its “nighttime” clearly she can’t be thirsty, its just a habit.
If it is abuse for an elderly person its abuse for a baby.
April 6th, 2010 at 11:59 am
The longer you wait the harder it will be. I didn’t with my first because I could not stand the thought of letting her cry like that. I have had two since then and I would do it no other way, A child needs to learn how to comfort themselves. They are at some point going to have to sleep alone. It hurts worse when they are older. They don’t just cry they also scream, ” Mommy, why are you doing this?” ” I need to sleep with youUUUUUUUUU!” ” I hate my bed, I love your bed.” That broke my heart and lasted longer than the crying. With the first girl it took two weeks when we finally made her go to her own bed. The second girl took two nights and gravy after that. The third girl I never put in my bed, she has slept in her own bed since birth and the cry it out game doesn’t exist. Hope this helped. Good Luck.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
don’t let him cry. rock him to sleep and put him in his crib. if he wakes up just do it again. he’ll get used to it. it also helps to have a bedtime routine. bath, cuddling and then he goes to bed.
April 6th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I have NEVER, EVER believed in the “Cry it out” method…in fact, what the hell is it??? Babies CRY FOR A REASON, even if it’s sleeping with mommy and daddy, which is probably your fault. Now, you just have to deal with it. Wait until he’s almost asleep and then gently put him in his crib…but don’t let a baby cry. It could be anything.
April 6th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
First I want to say it is your baby and you will do what you want to do for your baby. Please don’t listen to the people who are saying that crying it out is horrible. It is not horrible if you do it right. You don’t want to have the problem of getting your 10 year old out of your bed. When will your alone time ever come back.
Crying it out is a good method you just have to do it right. First of course feed him his milk or formula and rock him a little bit if he is not asleep. And then place him in his crib. If he starts to cry rub his little face gently and tell him you are alright and go to sleep. If he is still crying in a couple of minutes go back in there and reassure him that you are still there and rub his little face again and tell him that you love him and he is alright and to go to sleep or you can pick him up and rock him a little bit to show him that you are there for him and then place him back to bed. Keep doing that until he does fall asleep but make the times longer each time you go in. Like the first time make it 2 min. of crying the second time make it 5 min. of crying and so on. Don’t let him cry for more then 10 min. without checking on him. He will get the hint and and go to sleep. It is going to be harder on you hearing him cry but in the long run you will have your bed back and he will learn to sleep great in his own bed.
Good Luck!!!
I totally agree with Monica H. I think as long as the mom does all she can to make sure her baby is comfortable then it is fine to use the cry it out method as long as it is done properly it is not NEGLECT!!!
I am sure that the mom asking this question is not going to neglect her baby during the night if the baby needs a diaper change or a feeding.
The reason why kids end up screaming in the stores is probably because of you parents who don’t do the cry it out method and teach their kids that they get everything they want because all they had to do is cry for it. Thats probably why you still have your kids in your bed. It sure as hell is not from us moms who show their children a little bit of discipline as a baby to get them to sleep on their own and who discipline their kids as they get older. You have to get your facts straight before you put your opinion on here!!!!
April 6th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
My baby is the same age, and I can’t imagine ‘ferberizing’ her (the crying it out method) right now. Keep in mind that at this age, crying is their primary means to communicate – that is the main way she can tell you she is scared, hungry, uncomfortable, etc. She does not know how to manipulate you right now, so ignoring her cries is not teaching her ‘who is boss’, it is teaching her that how she feels is not important to her parents – the people she should unconditionally be able to trust most.
While I do know people who have utilized this method, I think the ones who have had more success with it waited until their children were older.
You can’t go back and change these things, and at this young age your baby needs to feel unconditionally loved and trusted. There is a time for discipline – it is not 3 months old.
If you want to get your baby out of your bed – go slowly. You can still do that now without letting him cry it out. Start with naps in the place you want him to sleep…have whatever routine you do in your own bed in place for him going into his crib. If you don’t have a routine in your own bed, start one now before you transition him so that he has something ‘familiar’ to take with him. You can even put the crib in your room and gradually move it over to his room over time. Trust me, a lot of people do this without letting their babies scream their heads off out of fear…and your gut probably tells you, if you really think about it, that screaming at this age is not a means to make you do his bidding because he is spoiled, it is just because he is trying to communicate with you, desperately in some cases, the only way he knows how.
April 6th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
I can’t say it any better than Mystic. Not at all.
Why grow a baby if you are going to let them cry??? It’s not a habit- he is likely hungry.
April 6th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
My ex and I started at 5 months for a minute. Yours might be a little to little for it.
April 6th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Babies who are left to cry it out experience higher levels of stress. They stop crying not because they are sleep trained, but because they become detached to their parents, and their needs are no longer being met. It can effect their brains, and their hormones. Is it worth it for a few hours of rest?
April 6th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
i would get him to ‘almost sleeping’ with you, then sit him in his bed, and comfort him to sleep. he’ll wake up in bed and hopefully realize that’s the sleep spot.