Any suggestions on how my husband and I can resolve this issue about having another baby??
ByWell, we got pregnant 3 years ago, and were young. We thought about adoption, but kept our baby, and he is now 2, and we are now married.
We both want to have another, but my husband is scared. He said that we were close to living in a “trailor park” when we got pregnant… we are in a good place now, with our own house, and he has a good job. I stay home with our son, but am planning to work soon.
I dont want to wait longer- because I dont want more than 3 year age gap between the kids.
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6 Comments
April 27th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
well, you can’t get pregnant w/o him (his sperm) so forget it. I had a similar issue. We discussed have another and then, without my agreement, my husband went and got a vasectomy, so now he cannot have any more children! Kind of severe, huh? So, drop it for now, maybe he’ll change his mind. But at least he is not taking extreme measures. He’ll end up regretting the decision to have only one, but you tried.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Both of you should be on the same page about this, but there is also the need to compromise. What if you talked about preparing to have a child in 2008? That gives time to get ready in all ways for this.
Also, discuss this in a way that gives him a chance to talk about any other fears he has in having a second child. I wonder if there is more to it than what you have told here.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
You want to be stable financially when you have kids. It won’t matter that there is time between their ages. Sorry, but think about providing first. You need money saved. What if he lost his job or got sick…or had an accident. Just be sure you have emergency money set aside. I know EVERYTING can’t be perfect when you have another child, but plan to the best of your ability and differences in the ages of your children is not a good enough reason if you are not financially ready. Good luck to you both.
April 27th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Give him time! My husband was the same way, our lil girl is two, had her when i was 20. Im 23 now and i wanna have another before i turn 25. I was begging him for months to have another and he kept saying no. One day i just stoppped asking and told him that when he was ready to let me know. On christmas eve he told me that he wanted another and we’ve been trying and i think we finally did it! Point of the story, just be patient. You know you already want one, when hes ready think about how great it’ll be when he approaches you about having another lil one!
April 27th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
A lot of people today only have one kid and to me, that is just sad. I know that the cost of bringing up one kid is pretty high, let alone two what with tuition and what not but and it’s a big BUT – when you have just one kid, he is all alone. When he grows up, he’s still alone and when he has kids, they don’t have cousins or family and that is sad. So tell your husband that when it comes to kids, two is a good number and if you can give your children a good home and a loving environment, then you can have as many as you both want. BOTH of you must agree though and maybe you should be patient and explain to him the reasons you want to have another child. Good luck.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Well , this is a tough one. Being an only child isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a child. Plus, having another child before you two are both ready could put a strain on your relationship. Sit down together and try to make a plan that included another child. Try to see the BIG picture.