9 month old’s first night in crib, omg.. help me!?
Byit’s 3:48 am and i’m on the verge of a mental breakdown 
basically, my son has always co-slept at night and napped in my bed during the day. totally my fault for starting the bad habit, and i’m kicking myself for it trust me! anyways, yesterday he was taking a nap and woke up silently, crawled right off the bed, i felt horrible! (please no rude remarks, i feel bad enough as it is). i took him to the dr. to get checked out, and asked her how i can get him out of my bed & into his crib. she said do CIO.
it’s sooo hard for me to hear jordan cry, because he rarely ever does, so when he does cry i know he’s really upset. he’s just such a happy baby and of course no mother likes to hear their LO cry! anyways, i stayed strong and stuck to my guns. problem is, he kept sitting up crying for me, then would get so exhausted he’d either fall asleep sitting up w/ his legs hanging out (like he’s in jail, lol it did look pretty funny), or he’d fall asleep sitting up and then fall nack and bang his head, poor guy! i went in a few times to lay him down after he fell asleep but he woke up only to do the cycle again. ahh what do i do?! i feel so helpless but his safety is my biggest concern and he’s no longer safe in my bed. i just nursed him, gave him a sippy of water, and he’s finally back to sleep.. thank god. ok, so i guess i wanna know how do i fix the falling asleep sitting up thing, also how long did it take your baby to get used to sleeping in their crib (after some time of cosleeping). thanks and sry this is so long, i’m a wreck tonight
wow. seriously “K”, i’ve disliked every answer you’ve ever given (to myself & others!), so just remember my username & never click and answer my questions. your answer was completely irrelevant to the actual question. i never solicited your advice on my parenting style, so please keep it to yourself ok. i know you’re supermom and all, but it doesn’t make me a bad parent if i opt to try different methods than you. and CIO doesn’t mean i don’t care, or that i’m a “bitter mother”. you’re the bitter one if you ask me.
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i’m doing CIO, and sticking w/ it. oh well if you don’t agree. all i asked for is suggestions on how to get him to lie down to sleep instead of sitting up, and how long it took for your LO to start self-soothing after doing my method. please stick w/ the question, thanks! 
oh, and i did have bed rails on my bed. that’s what he went over yesterday and face-planted. bedrails are not intended to keep an infant safely sleeping on a bed.
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12 Comments
April 30th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Having a b!!ch for a doctor is not a good reason to leave your baby to sob alone. Look elsewhere for parenting advice in the future.
Here:
“Changing The Sleep Pattern In The Family Bed”
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
(Advice is largely on weaning from night nursing but you can apply the re-soothe and gradual withdrawal techniques to getting him in a crib)
You can be a happy mother with a happy child, or you can be some bitter old battle-axe spewing out “He will cry go in your room and turn up the TV or something” I-hate-my-kids stuff. Really much nicer being the former.
Another thing you can do is just put your mattress on the floor and babyproof the room…
April 30th, 2010 at 11:39 pm
I would continue letting your baby sleep at night in your bed (but get some rails or some contraption hooked up so that the baby CANT get out and is safe. THen, during the day when the baby naps, put him in his crib once he falls asleep. Let him get used to the naps in the crib, and after a while I’d start trying to get him to sleep at night in his crib. My baby sleeps with me a lot when he’s teething- he won’t sleep by himself then. Even when he naps when he cuts teeth he won’t be put down. But after the teething stops he’ll go back to his crib and sleep on his one. I wouldn’t do it cold turkey. I hold by baby in my bed when we sleep at night so he can’t get out. But I don’t leave him in our adult bed alone without us holding him. Good luck!
April 30th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
What I did was put my son in his bed and he cried but don’t go pick him up. Just let him cry he needs to learn to sleep in his own bed. He will cry go in your room and turn up the TV or something. No one likes to hear a baby cry but he must learn. Good luck. And don’t give in. Don’t do it. He’ll end up like my brother 14 and still sleeps in my parents floor they can’t get anytime to their selves.
May 1st, 2010 at 12:40 am
Hi, sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Don’t blame yourself for the cosleeping, you most probably did what was best for the both of you – you both probably slept more than you would have otherwise.
This is a good age to transition to his own crib and the best way is to go gently, step by step. A cosleeper (side car bed attached to your bedside) would be nice: it is a safe place, still near you but he does get used to having his own place. A small mattress next to your bed is a good option too. If this goes well for a while, you can move him further away from you little by little, first still in your room, later on in his own room.
To help him fall asleep, you can help him by holding and rocking him, then putting him down asleep or drowsy, and little by little put him down a bit earlier. A regular bedtime routine and a well suited sleep schedule also help him fall asleep more easily.
So the main message is: transition slowly, you can help him without him having to cry it out. Good luck!
May 1st, 2010 at 1:09 am
Babies are in cribs for their own safety, from now on make sure he is all partied out, well fed, dry, warm and sleepy before you put him in, also it helps to get one of those nice moving crib light up toys like a fish tank or a swirly ceiling lamp toy to help relax him and keep him occupied until he bores himself to sleep. It wont take more than a few days to get him used to sleeping in his own big boy bed.
Be strong Mom, cold turkey is hard but worth the fight.
Also. bumper pads! The whole way around. Stuffed animals and a nice flat pillow.
May 1st, 2010 at 1:28 am
Oh no poor baby! I do not believe in CIO method at all. Your baby relies on you for comfort and when you ignore he will feel worthless! You shouldn’t try to move him to his crib so fast. You need to do it slowly. For his naps during the daytime let him sleep in his crib while you sit next to it. Read a book or something. Let him get used to it first and feel safe there. Keep doing this a little more every day. Just be extra careful at night since you know he can get up and crawl off the bed now. Don’t be mean and ignore your baby when he calls for you! Your all he’s got!
May 1st, 2010 at 1:40 am
My 9 month old has been in a cot since day dot, and he still sometimes does not want to sleep in there- I tried co sleeping once when I was sick but because of the height of our bed I fretted too much about his safety.
I know what I am about to suggest is ‘bad SID’s strategy’ but it has worked to get my son to stay fairly happily in the cot and allow me to get a half decent nights sleep. I have filled the cot up with noisy, light up stuffed toys and tied fun things to the top rails. I rotate the non favourite toys and the fisher price laugh and learn puppy gets removed when daddy needs to sleep (I think it’s broken- the batteries DON’T go flat!) because that thing is LOUD and Alex likes to sleep on top of it- which sets it off every five seconds!
May 1st, 2010 at 2:09 am
Try sleeping with a child size blanket for a couple nights, then putting in his crib. This way the blanket has your scent on it and it will hopefully comfort him.
It’s worth a try. He’ll get there but it’s going to be a bit of work.
May 1st, 2010 at 2:55 am
dont feel bad for co sleeping. its natural for a baby to sleep next to its mummy not having them sleep alone when there new to the world. That’s why you both get a better night sleep for it because he feels safe. i suggest putting him in his cot in the day and he will get used to it and your more energized in the day to deal with it. Your likely to make progress when your less tired.
May 1st, 2010 at 3:09 am
My son started to co-sleep when he was older. It started off when he was sick and then I got to sleep so much better that I just continued with it. He always slept in the middle so that my husband and I were the bed rails. I only tried to get him out of my bed when he was older (about 1 12/) when he was moving about too much in his sleep and was now disturbing our sleep. At that age, children have better understanding. What I did was to rock him to sleep as was my custom and put him in his own bed. He would wake in the night and come over to my bed. I would get up, rock him back to sleep and then put him in his bed again. I would repeat this each time he came to my bed. It took many a sleepless night, but I persisted (else he would still be sleeping with us). I guess that he eventually realised that mommy was serious and stopped coming over to our bed. He still comes every now and then when he has a nightmare… but I can live with that.
Your son is much younger and so you may have to try something different. I like the suggestions that are given by this web site, which just supports what others have said: http://www.askdrsears.com
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MY 9-M-O FALLS OUT OF BED
“My infant has been sleeping in our bed, and this has been wonderful. But now she is getting very active and I am worried that she will fall out of the bed. I have tried to place her in a crib after she falls asleep, but she usually wakes up and cries. I like having her in our bed but I am scared she will get hurt, especially after a daytime nap when she tries to climb down.”
A lot of babies don’t like cribs. This is what we did to our bed to make it safe. First, we lowered it by removing the frame. Just have a box spring and mattress, this way it’s low enough so that baby won’t get hurt when she rolls off. This is also important over the next year or two when she is trying to climb in and out of bed; the lower bed the easier and safer it is.
Also, try a sidecar arrangement while she’s sleeping. In this way, baby is within arm’s reach for nursing and bonding, yet mother and baby are not so close that they keep each other awake. (You can buy a special baby bed called the “Arm’s Reach® Co-Sleeper® Bassinet” that’s designed to be used next to the parent’s bed.)
You will also need to be sure your bedroom is baby-proofed. That way, when she wakes up and gets out of bed to come looking for you, she won’t get hurt by anything in the room. You can use a monitor to listen for the sounds of her waking up.
Check out our Sleep section for more tips.
Dr. Jim
May 1st, 2010 at 3:45 am
Hi, you just need to keep being consistent, start with his naps, put him in his cot and leave, go and check on him every 10 mins, if he keeps standing/sitting up put him down and leave again, you may need to do this countless times, but he will eventually get the message, dont talk to him or pich him up, he really does need to learn to sooth himself and fall asleep alone.
Every baby wakes up lots of times during the night but the baby that knows how to fall asleep by themselfes just goes back to sleep but a babie that has learned to be rocked, carried,or sang to sleep will wake up fully and cry and this creates a big problem.
Make sure your little one is full, nice bath maybe a story, make the hour befour bed very calm, and put him to sleep, as i said you may need to keep going in every 10 mins to make sure he is not sitting up, but it will work trust me, maybe take a few nights or even a few weeks but it is worth it, your baby needs a good night sleep, so his brain can grow.
Make sure he is having enough naps, the better a baby naps the better he will sleep at night, about 3 hours is perfect a half an hour in the morning and 2 and a half after lunch.
sometimes a baby does need to cry it out, it is the only way, if your baby has learned to sleep in your bed it will take him a while to adjust, and the best way you can help him is to leave him to it, if you are consintley there singing to him ect to get him to sleep he will get overtired and it will take longer for him to settle, you just need to leave him alone to fall asleep, again it may take time.
Be consistent is the key, and rest assure you are not damaging your baby or hurting him, you are teaching him how to self sooth, which is a very important thing for a baby to learn.
May 1st, 2010 at 4:01 am
My son used to come in bed with me in the mornings, but he sleeps in his bed now. I think a good way to wean him from mommy’s bed is put him in his bed and play games with him. Let him see that it’s not a scary place. Then do one night with you and the next night in his bed and hopefully he’ll get more and more used to being in his bed alone at night. I hope this helps and remember this is your son every baby is different and do the method that works for you and your son. A safe method of course.