Cosleeping mothers.. what age was your child moved to his own bed & how hard was the transition for both of u?
ByI have a 4 month old. Every now and then i’ll put him into our bed, just for me to get some sleep.. i don’t believe in cry it out method, so when he’s restless at night, i lay him next to me and comfort untill we both fall asleep. He’s not a great sleeper, so sometimes he sleeps better in my arms, others still wakes up every 2 hours.. For the sake of both of us getting rest, i’d like to let him sleep with me, in his room maybe 2 nights a week.. Will he get used to this? And if he does will it be hard to change this habbit? Any experiecne with this?
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10 Comments
April 8th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
We co-slept with our son and do so with our daughter now. Our son was 2.5 years when he went into his own bed. He is autistic and the transition was harder for him. Our baby will be 2 when she is in her own ed.
He will get used to sleeping on his own, but given a choice and when he can voice it- he is going to want to be with you.
We have a queen sized bed and there is plenty of space for the baby, my husband and me. As well, the beagle sleeps on the end and there is usually at least one of our cats there too.
It is hard to change it at a year old. At 2 years old, it is much easier- they understand more and are easier to move. What we did was place his crib mattress on the floor at the end of our bed for 3 months. Then, we had him pick out a bed, the bedding, and decorated with him all the while telling him the room was his and he was going to sleep there. We discovered he loved fish and got a small aquarium for his end table and put that there. The night light on the aquarium helped him to sleep as did the sound and watching the fish. It was so easy after that. We fed the fish together, read a book, left the light on for a few minutes for him to settle in and read to himself and lights out after that.
For now, make sure that your mattress and boxspring are on the floor- not so nice looking but safe for baby. Push the mattresses up against the wall.
My mom always commented on our choice of sleeping habits for our son until she discovered that he was not afraid to go to sleep by himself, never fussed about it, nothing. Our baby is the same way. She just learned at almost 1 to say, “night-night” when she is tired and off she goes.
EDIT: Place the baby between you and the wall. When our baby’s were newborns, I placed them in an infant cosleeper that went right on the bed. At 4 months, they slept on a pillow- lenghtwise. Now she is a year and has her own pillow. I was lucky- neither of mine took up much space.
Good luck to you!
April 8th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Please don’t “co-sleep” with your infant. This can cause a MAJOR problem most often not discussed because of the tradgedy that it is. I was a maternity case manager, and witnessed one such tradgedy. It is termed “roll over death” It’s only cause is co-sleeping. when you co-sleep you run the risk of actually rolling onto the child, or in some other way causing the infant to suffocate in the blankets. I know every parent says “oh but I am very careful”….This is a terrible tradgedy to witness much less be a part of. Please, please do not co-sleep with your infant!!!!
April 8th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
I doubt he can handle the five nights on, two nights off, it doesn’t seem fair or like something he’d understand. I’m so glad you don’t beleive in cry it out, it’s awful.
My daughter slept with us until she was 15 1/2 months old. I truly believe that letting her sleep with us till then (and we only stopped then because she was showing signs of wanting to be alone: squirming for more room, laying at the foot of the bed…) gave her the security she needed to be ready to sleep on her own. We moved right to her crib converted to a toddler bed, and she does great. We still snuggle with her (we lay on a mattress next to her bed) until she falls asleep, then she’s on her own. Hope this helps~
April 8th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
I swore my son would never sleep with me, and then he was born. He cried all night if I put him down. He was a preemie and was in the NICU for the first 3 and a half weeks. I wanted to be close to him so bad. He slept with me every night when he was an infant. (This is not recommended because of rollover accidents and I know that). You can’t do everything by the book.
When my son started getting bigger(around 7-9 months) he started taking up most of the bed and my arm started hurting due to his growing head. I never had one problem transitioning. He would always nap by himself, and I kept the same routine (solid food, bath, lotion, bottle, sleep). He was getting sick of being in bed with me also, I could tell he was getting uncomfortable. Once he started sleeping in his own bed he immediately started sleeping through the night in his own room. Some children have difficulties transitioning, but my son never fussed.
If you can avoid the habit I strongly advise you to do so. I also recommend that you buy a co-sleeper. You can still hold your arms around the baby while they sleep in a safe place. Here are some you should check out, and they sell them at Target and ToysRus.
http://brands.babycatalog.com/Arms-Reach-list.html?OVRAW=baby%20co-sleepers&OVKEY=baby%20co%20sleeper&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=3803454522&OVKWID=33695101022
Good luck!
April 8th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
That is exactly how I was with my daughter when she was that age. She did get used to sleeping with me and by the time she was 7 months she thought she had to sleep with me every night, all night. I don’t like the cry it out method either, but it works. When she was right at a yr. I just made her start sleeping in her bed. It was hard on both of us,(I think it was harder on me) for 3 maybe four nights. Now she is almost 3 and she doesn’t even get out of her bed in the morning until I come get her. I did the same thing with my son, but I started making him cry it out at 8 months. He’s 9 months now and I lay him down, he whimpers for minute or 2 and sleeps till 7 am every night.
You just have to be a tough mean old mom and my mom used to say
April 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
My son co-slept until about three weeks ago (he is three months old). He slept in a sleep nest on a wedge between his father and I (he has reflux, needed the wedge, and we need to keep him up 1hr after each feeding… so this worked out well for the three of us).
Three weeks ago, I noticed he was incredibly mobile. we’d put him in his nest and invariably by morning, he would squirm until he was perpendicular to it. That was a sign to us he was ready for his own space.
We put him in his crib with the monitor (his bedroom is across from ours) and clenched our teeth. That night, we were up probably 10 times. The baby was just fine… it was us that were the problem. We were antsy. But we learned what sounds were just restlessness/repositioning and which were “come and change me” or “I’m waking up… for real.” Within another week, he was sleeping through the night many days in a row.
We never let him cry or would do so, especially because he was so young when we transitioned him to his own space. To this day, when he cries in the middle of the night, he gets a change and some rocking. If that does not do the trick, he gets a bottle, more rocking and cuddling, and by then, we’ve both headed back to the Land of Nod.
April 8th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
My son has been co-sleeping with us since the day he came home from the hospital. He is now 2 1/2 and Im slowly trying to get him into his own bed(for about 4 months now). We have a night time routine where we lay on the couch, eat a snack have a cup of water and then he falls asleep while we are laying there. Once he has been asleep for about 10-15 minutes I move him into his bed. Of course he wakes up about 2 hours later and wants to come to bed with me or lay on the couch again but I’ve been trying to stay in his room and rock him back to sleep and then put him back in his bed..If I can get him to go back to sleep again then he will usually sleep for about 4 hours and then get up and walk into my bed and lay down with me. By that time it’s about 3 in the morning so he sleeps with me until he wakes up at 7 or so. And for right now thats working for us. If he slept thru the night it would be a different story………….If I had a choice to do it all over again, I would move him to his bed 100% by the time he was 6 months old. Im ready for a full nights sleep, my husband is and Im sure my son is as well…..I guess I really dont have any advice just whats worked(or not worked) for us!!! GL either way
April 8th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
I co-slept with my son until he was about 7 weeks old. I wanted to transition him into his crib before he started to recognize me. I’ve heard from many people that it’s been hard to transition a child to his or her own bed after being so used to sleeping with mommy and daddy…and I didn’t want that to happen to me.
It was hard the first 3-4 days because he would cry in the middle of the night (2-3 times) But as soon as I heard him cry…i ran into his room and rocked him back to sleep. I wanted him to feel secure sleeping in his own bed…and now he knows that I’ll come if he needs me.
He’s almost 6 months old now and sleeps from 9pm-8 am in his room. And he plays by himself in the crib…he very happy in there.
I think the 5 days with you and 2 days by himself might confuse him and lead to even more irregular sleeping patterns. If you plan on transtitioning him into his crib…do it all the way not partially.
Also, put baby in the crib during nap time…start building a routine. It’ll be a slow process but you’ll be happier in the long run when you don’t have a 2 year old who refuses to get out of your bed!
Take Care.
April 8th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
i think co sleeping is great
our older girl is 5 and our bed it still open to her….she has no problem sleeping alone or with us……she is very emotionally mature
now that we have 6 week old i sleep on the queen size in girl’s room….her crib is right next to the bed……she goes in for her first run of sleep in the crib…..when she wakes she comes to bed with my daughter and i for a nursing and back to sleep
very easy
April 8th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
We coslept until baby was 6 months old. I had a cosleeper, but most of the time baby wound up in bed next to me. Eventually he was in my bed all night long. We both got much more sleep that way and I loved the extra snuggles. He always took his naps in a crib though.
Around 6 months it stopped working for us. Baby was kicking me and we kept waking eachother up. Unfortunately DS and I are both light sleepers. So I started transitioning him then. I’d put him to bed in his crib and when he woke up to nurse, I’d move him to my bed for the rest of the night. We gradually reduced the time he spent in my bed until he was in his own room all night. It really wasn’t a big deal.
I’d say if it’s working for you, do it. You can always transition him out when it stops working for you. You can’t spoil a baby with too much love or attention, IMO. You are buliding trust and a healthy attachment by trusting your mommy instincts.
Now, my DS is sleeping through the night in his own crib at 11 months. I never did CIO even though he was definitely a sleep-fighter.