Cosleeping question?
ByI put our 8 month old to bed in her crib at 7 PM with no problem and then she usually wakes around 10 PM and I nurse her and my husband, the baby and I all go to sleep in our bed together.
I love having her sleep with us right now and we all get lots of sleep now that she’s there with us, but I was hoping that eventually she’ll sleep longer and longer in her crib until she’s sleeping the whole night in her crib. Will things play out this way or will she continue to wake at 10 PM as a habit for a long time to come?
Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this or how you eventually got your cosleeping baby to eventually stay in their own bed all night. Thanks!
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9 Comments
April 11th, 2010 at 11:36 am
Coming to bed with you will become a habit, and the longer she sleeps there, the harder the transition back to her crib will be. It took me a few weeks very tearful nights to get my son comfortable sleeping in his crib, after just a couple of weeks of letting him sleep with me (this was around 1 year of age).
April 11th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
She will not start sleeping longer in her crib. She is conditioned to wake up, eat and go to your bed.
April 11th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
I don’t have experience with this, but I know I used to nurse at 10 and put my son back to sleep and it got to be a habit for him to wake up at that time and sometimes he still does wake up then but normally will fall right back to sleep. (now that he doesn’t nurse anymore)
I think it depends on your child a lot though.
April 11th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
I did this too. I started my daughter right from the start there. I loved sleeping with her (& nursing was so much easier), but she always woke up a couple times in the night. I realized that she would put her hand out and touch me, if I was there she’s stay sleeping, if I was out of reach, she’d wake-up. That’s when i realized that she needed to be in her own bed. I got the book called the Baby Whisperer (I wish I’d read it sooner). It took 4 days of crying and letting her cry it out, then on the 5th everything was quiet right up until morning. I just let her cry and I’d cry too. My hubby would hug me and hug me and hold me and restrain me from running to my baby. If she started making that awful cry I’d go in the room and pat her on the back, but NOT pick her up. She’d cry louder and so would I. After she realized that mommy mean business she would settle down. The first 2 nights were painful for me. I hate hearing a baby cry. she woke up several times those night on night 3 it was less and on night 4 even less on night 5 she slept through the night. I’m glad I did it. After all that, I decided that bedtime had to be a time where my daughter knew that there was no fooling around. You need you baby to know that they have to sleep in their crib at night. Not just so they’ll get a good sleep, but so that when they get a little older and can crawl out of the crib, they wont. And then when they know that bedtime isn’t fooling around time when they get into a bed they won’t get up constantly asking for things and making bedtime miserable for everyone.
Now, my baby is 7 and to this day she still wakes up in the middle of the night and climbs into bed with me probably 4 out of 7 nights. I still like sleeping with her.
When our 2nd daughter came along, I decided not to do that again. It was so hard getting the 1st one into her crib. So I was adamant #2 be put back in her bed after each nursing time. She is such a good sleeper now and the other one is such a light sleeper.
There’s always a learning curve.
April 11th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I absolutely agree with co-sleeping. I think it is better for baby, mom and dad, especially if anyone of them is working and doesn’t get to spend very much time with baby. We are one of the only cultures that don’t think of co-sleeping as the norm. I have co-slept with both of my children and they are both incredible kids – independent, smart and affectionate.
That being said, we have had our difficulties with getting them to stay in their own beds. Not terrible problems and if we have another child, I will certainly co-sleep again. Every family is different and if you would like to start getting your baby to stay in her crib, that is fine too. I think you are off to a good start with the baby going to bed first in their own bed (that was the hardest part for us to start). As she gets older, she will not need to nurse as often, and might not even wake up at 10 (what do the other answerers do if their child wakes at 10, I wonder?) and therefore you would never have to worry about it. Otherwise, you may want to try cuddling (dad’s are good at this) instead of nursing at a certain point. For us, the nursing was always a lot harder to skip than getting them to go to sleep by themselves. If she doesn’t need to nurse, then it may be easier for her to stay in her own bed.
I hope that makes sense to you. Of course, every family’s needs are different and every child’s needs are different so it is also a ‘play it by ear’ situation. I think you are doing the right thing for your family and don’t let anyone else make you feel wrong. Good luck
April 11th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
it all depends on what you like. I let my first daughter sleep with me till she was almost 7 years old, she is now going on 12 and has been sleeping in her own bed, in her own room upstairs and is a well-rounded young lady. My new baby 3mons. now, sleeps with me too. She also wakes up at 10pm and then again at 2am, everything i have read says that babies don’t really start sleeping through the night until they are around 5 to 6 mons. You can sleep with your baby and not have to nurse to get them to go back to sleep. If your up already to get her from her crib, rock her to sleep or just wait and see if she falls back to sleep on her own before picking her up. Sometimes they crying for a really short period of time like less than 5mins. and then go right back to sleep.
April 11th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
We co-slept with our son from the day he came home from the hospital. He’s 3 now, and sleeps in his bed, no problem. By letting her sleep with you, she’ll become more secure that you will be there for her, and will eventually start sleeping longer periods in her bed. It may take a while, so be prepared. Just let her continue sleeping with you for now, and when you do want to transition to her sleeping by herself, don’t leave her in her bed to cry. She won’t sleep as well and her bed will become an unhappy place for her, which will make the transition harder.
April 11th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
i agree to play it by ear
bring her to your bed when she wakes at night whether that be at 10pm or 2am…..just make her happy and she will learn to trust you
we are a happy co-sleeping family and it does NOT create bad habits or some other crap like that
April 11th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
I still co-sleep.