Fed up with everyone’s sleep solution for children!?
ByFirst, I am a first-time mother of a wonderful, funny, adorable 7 month old baby boy. We began by breastfeeding and cosleeping. Due to various reasons, I decided to go ahead and crib train him around 5 months. I work fulltime and so I couldn’t keep up with the breastfeeding – the main reason why we coslept.
So, already knowing I was totally against Ferber, I decided to read the good night, sleep tight sleep solution book that advocates putting them down while they are still awake but drowsy. I picked up on the setting a good routine and now my little one wakes at 7:30 (like clockwork) and usually takes 3 thirty minutes naps a day. He is usually always fed, bathed and in bed between 7:00 and 7:30. But now, the lay down while still drowsy thing doesn’t work and he’s been getting up for two hours at a time anywhere between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. So I’ve started rocking him back to sleep. Except it takes like 20 minutes or more to get him back to sleep or we fight for a good hour early in the morning.
I guess I’m just so frustrated one, because I’m not getting alot of sleep but really, I kindof feel like a failure because EVERYTHING I read says put them to sleep while they’re drowsy or you’re gonna regret it later or letting them soothe themselves to sleep builds self-confidence or I’m creating a negative sleep association or bad habit if I rock them to sleep. I mean, really?!? What do people think people BEFORE the internet did when they’re kids wouldn’t go to sleep, just lay them there and let them scream??
Is there ANYONE else that feels that way or that still rocks their kids to sleep? Or more specifically, has anyone’s kids around 6-7 months started waking up for 1.5-2 hours in the early morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep? The only thing I can think is he’s started pulling himself up and standing. I’ve read that when kiddos discover new things, it can disturb their sleep patterns. And btw, he’s fed and changed when he wakes up for that long stretch.
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11 Comments
April 30th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
“EVERYTHING I read says put them to sleep while they’re drowsy or you’re gonna regret it later”
You read a lot of BS. Go find some Dr Sears books, anything published by La Leche League…you’ll feel better.
I cuddle and nurse a 1.5yo to sleep and it’s a fantastic end to my day. I think the people who whinge about having to put their small children to bed are bitter old battleaxes who probably shouldn’t have become parents in the first place.
April 30th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I personally liked the book called babywise..
April 30th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I hope this does not sound rude (because I certainly don’t mean it to) but your child is not a text book. Rocking a child to sleep is NOT going to ruin them for life and they will develop their own sleep patterns in time.
I don’t rock my daughter to sleep because she wont let me
but I do sit with her next to her cot as I pat her back, rub her back and sing to her until she falls asleep. She also used to fall asleep by herself until she started pulling up.
Lucy goes through stages where she sleeps absolutely terribly…waking every hour or more and taking half an hour to an hour to resettle…then up for the day at 6!!
Have a look at these links…they may give you some understanding about how development (physical and cognitive) can effect sleep.
The basic outline..
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=2312
Info about specific fussy periods
http://baby.families.com/blog/stages-of-baby-fussiness-after-12-weeks-to-12-months
http://www.geocities.com/hedracita/Fussy_Stages.html
Spefically about 4 and 8 month sleep regressions
http://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html
April 30th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I think I end up rocking or nursing my daughter to sleep around 60% of the time, and the other 40% she’ll fall to sleep by herself. I think it’s a milestone that eventually she’ll fully reach.
April 30th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
well, we didn’t follow anyone’s method, but my almost nine mo dd has always slept through the night; and she can be lain down asleep if she falls out before bedtime, or wide awake if not; either way she goes to sleep bc she knows it’s dark and that means bedtime….hope all settles for your LO as well, it is probably just he is wanting to try out his new skills
hang in there♥
April 30th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
My youngest of 4 is now 18 months old, I rock him to sleep everynight at 8pm and again for his afternoon nap. He slept through the night until he was about 10 months old. He was also a cosleeper because he was nursing. Since about 10 months old he has been waking between midnight and 2am and won’t go back to sleep unless I bring him in my bed with me. I will I had a better answer then just to say you’re not alone. I tried letting him cry, I don’t have the heart for it. I will keep reading the answers you recieve, I need one too.
April 30th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I think doing whatever works for your family is right. What works for one sometimes doesn’t for another. I do remember though at that age more night waking. I think it is because they discovered a new talent and want to do it. Like pulling up for standing in the crib. I nurse my 12.5 month old to sleep in her crib and leave the room when she is totally asleep, which sometimes only takes 10 minutes now (after reading the no cry sleep solution and implementing the techniques). She will then sleep in her crib until anytime between 11-4 a.m. the latest. When she wakes in the middle of the night I get her bring her into our bed, nurse her and she falls back asleep within 5 minutes. That way we still get to wake up together and I also get to put her in her crib for a few hours and get some free time before going to bed. That works for us. Do what works for you and forget what others or some books say.
April 30th, 2010 at 8:02 pm
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php
April 30th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
yes and some times u have to put them in their bed and let them cry.i know it sounds bad but i put my son to bed i was exhausted ad he cried for about 20 min and fell asleep and slept all night.he has cried the longest was 1 hour but every 15 min i went in and rubbed his back let him know it was ok.and he was been fine ever since.some nights he wants me to rock him and that’s fine but if he is very cranky i leave him be and he falls asleep pretty fast.try the book”babywise”
April 30th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
I have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl who from just4 week would sleep 12 hours through the night she sometimes only cat naps through the day but now no matter what routine i put in place for her she wants to stay up during the night. She will be so tired and constantly rub her eyes but will just giggle scream and laugh . We still wrap her as she know that being wrapped mean her long sleep. But she gets out of it so easy now it’s driving me crazy. She’ll roll around get on all four and try and stand up we’ve left her to scream and get herself tired but with no success she’ll go down with out being wrapped or rocked to sleep during the day but at night it now takes me forever to rock her to sleep she usually passes out bout 4am the up for a feed at 9am. So no ur not the only one I’m not sure if it’s got something to do with little ones teeth but she doesn’t seem too bothered by them at night? I’m running out of energy and always cranky due to lack of sleep let me know if you find an answer.
Take Care.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I will put more faith in Ferber than I have in you the minute he grows a couple of functioning breasts.
People have been rocking babies to sleep since there have been babies and, um…rocks. And until quite recently, everybody who didn’t want to be eaten by big animals slept, more or less, together. I’d venture there are still more mothers on the planet sleeping with their infants than those who own cribs.
He wakes up when he wakes up for a reason. Will you ever know why for certain? Everything he does changes. Better to spend spare time napping than looking for answers to questions that will be irrelevant in a flash, eh?
You’ll do fine.