Weird question about cosleeping…as kids or adults…?
ByI was just thinking last night about how people say that depending on someone else being there to sleep is so unhealthy for a child. Well why do adults enjoy sleeping together and cuddling (not talking about sex here) and that’s just fine, but it’s bad for a baby to want to sleep with its mommy &/or daddy? I was just thinking, is it just human nature that we want to be close with others? What do you think?
…not sure if I’m even getting this across right, but I’m just saying if even as adults we want to, then what’s so strange or wrong with a baby or child wanting to (when done safely)? I already expect to be bashed for bringing this up, but just wondered other people’s thoughts.
The Raenizzler~ I see your point.
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17 Comments
April 16th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Huh… that’s a really good point. I honestly had never thought of it like that! I’m all for co-sleeping, though, so it makes sense to me.
April 16th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
how do you do it safely
April 16th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Excellent point, I had never thought about that. You’re right-When you love someone it’s human nature to want to be close and protect them. What’s more loving and secure than sharing a bed with your family?
April 16th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
It’s NOT the baby’s choice is it, it’s the parents choice! We want to sleep together for sexual reasons NOT something a kid should be involved in! Besides, the parents aren’t going to want them in there forever so why make your kid have to suffer when you get tired of them in your bed? Never put them in there in the first place. To me it’s LAZINESS that make parents co-sleep, not safety!
April 16th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
The difference is adults have already learned the skills needed to self-sooth when by themselves. Children don’t have those skills yet and co-sleeping (for a long period of time) can prohibit them from learning that. I can admit that I have a hard time sleeping without my husband, but it’s because I’ve been with him for so long. Children need to first learn that they are safe in their own beds, alone and that they don’t “need” mom or dad…of course it’s comforting, but they need to know that it’s ok if they aren’t there.
April 16th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Good point =)
April 16th, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Jah- what are you talking about? Safe co-sleeping is taking measures to keep the child from rolling out of bed or getting caught up in blankets.
I never thought of it that way, but that is a great point. (I am co-sleeping with my 10 month old)
April 16th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
When adults do it they are doing it to be close to another person in one way or another. When children do it its because it makes them feel safe and its adding to the NEED for another person. Adults are already independant. Children are striving to become that. Needing an adult is damaging to this process….get it?
April 16th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
You make an excellent point!!!! Its really no different, people of all age groups enjoy the comfort of others. Its human nature I believe
April 16th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
do what Billy Dean says…
So let them be little,
‘Cause they’re only that way for a while.
Give ‘em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let ‘em cry, let ‘em giggle,
Let ‘em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.
April 16th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
I think babies are the same and want to be close to someone but it can be a habit and hard to break when they do it for so long. My son sleeps by his self but sleeps better when he is beside me. I think it is just human nature.
April 16th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
I agree! It natural to want to be held and be near another people especially a baby who is held for 9 months and then goes home to be put in a crib all by themselves?? I think the baby would feel lonely. I love cosleeping though none are in our bed now our oldest was till one and she got jimmy legs and the twins one was for 2 months and the other for 6 months…There nothing better than waking up to a baby discovering your face by rubbing their little hands all over it.
**Just to add now that they dont cosleep and even when they did the twins go to sleep within 5 minutes of being put into their bed so someone explain to me how they do not have independence or the ability to self soothe?
April 17th, 2010 at 12:05 am
I don’t agree with co-sleeping just because it doesn’t fit my parenting style…I want my child to be able to sleep on his own, not have to train him at 12 years of age to finally sleep in his own room, ya know? Plus I think cosleeping in general just leads to bad sleeping habits. I have a friend who has an 8 month old who cosleeps and she nurses all night long! My son sleeps from 8:30pm-7am most nights, and I am glad.
That being said, it very well may be the “natural” thing. I mean, in all other species whether it be dogs, cats, rats, whatever, they sleep with their young.
I am not a cuddly person though, I like my space. Even having our baby in my room for the first few weeks was a stretch for my, and my SO and I have actually had separate rooms in the past (when we had a bigger house). I just like my space. I sleep better alone. Even now he often will end up on the couch just because I want my space.
My mom has said I was a very un-cuddly baby also, so I think its just in my nature.
April 17th, 2010 at 12:49 am
i regret co-sleeping with my daughter for so long she was 6 when i stopped but i make sure i take naps with my son who is 5 weeks i think it helps with bonding and who wouldn’t want to sleep with the person you love more than anything
April 17th, 2010 at 1:17 am
I like co sleeping, My daughters crib is by the bed and if she wakes up I put her in our bed and she makes a cute little sounds snuggles up and falls right to sleep and is fine.
I think the main worry is people rolling on their kids or suffocating with blankets and pillows,
April 17th, 2010 at 2:15 am
Hummm! interesting. I think people used to bundle children up together like a litter of puppies in the past. I grew up sleeping with my two sisters in one double bed myself. It must be lonely for young children sleeping alone in their own room. I think it might be a problem if you let a child sleep with parents often, due to a grown person (couple) needing privacy.
April 17th, 2010 at 3:11 am
Well naturally everybody likes to have someone to cuddle up beside to sleep. Even when you’re not cuddled, it’s a sense of security that you feel when you know that someone’s there. My 6 week old sleeps with my husband and I. We have a California King size bed so the bed is huge. She sleeps in between us but there’s plenty of distance between us and her. Even though she’s not cuddled up between us, she knows we’re there and she sleeps a lot more comfortably than she does in her crib or bassinet. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with co sleeping other than the fact sooner or later you’re gonna want the kid to sleep in their own bed and they won’t want to. I can’t imagine my daughter being 5 years old and still sleeping with us.