Is it wrong of me to not care what my friends think of me being a stay at home Dad?
ByMy wife earns more money as a school teacher, and she wants for me to stay at home with our son. My friends have ‘tough guy’ jobs, and I have always valued their opinions. But when it comes to this, I think they may think of me differently staying at home after being an auto mechanic for 12 years. I cook, clean and consider myself a good parent to my daughter from 1st marriage. Does it make me less of a man to be a stay at home Pop?
Related posts:
- Are you a stay at home mom by choice or financial reasons such as day care expenses too high?
- Do you get annoyed with “Oh, you’re just a stay at home Mom.”?
- What tasks (and at what frequency) should a stay at home mom be taking care of?
- Why does society frown upon stay-at home dads?
- Does anyone else not like the term “stay at home mom”?
16 Comments
January 27th, 2010 at 5:33 am
A person owes it to himself to do what is right for him and his family.
January 27th, 2010 at 5:48 am
man, the stuff you have to do is probably more strenuous than your friends “tough guys” Jobs…….i look up to you. it takes alot of responsibility and work to do what you do…why do you think most men don’t do it…….or handle finances….or cooking….or anything like that……hats off to you!
January 27th, 2010 at 5:57 am
It isn’t wrong for you to take care of your family…its what all real men do these days. Good for you!
They take care of their family the way they want to and you take care of yours the way you want to. Trying to dictate another person’s life style is like dictating a another person’s religion….Be a real man and tell those “real” men to drop dead.
January 27th, 2010 at 6:50 am
I think it is a honorable and selfless to take the stress off your wife of being a full-time mom and allow her to pursue her career.
January 27th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Not at all. Actually, that’s the arraingment I have at home. Dad stays home with our 3 year old and I go to work. It works great for us! As long as you two are supportive of one another, that’s all that matters. In my opinion, a SAHD is great. Enjoy the time with your child. They grow up way too fast, as you already know. Befor eyou know it….you’ll only have these precious memories. Only you and your wife can decide what is best for your family, not the ‘macho-job guys”.
January 27th, 2010 at 8:43 am
It may be hard for me to relate to you, personally, as I’m a 22 year old female, but…both of my parents worked a lot when I was younger and I grew up in daycare. Though I loved it, I would have rather been with a parent and in my own home…not someone else’s home. My dad was laid off many times once I hit middle school, so for the most part, he was home with me from 5th grade on or so. I absolutely loved it. He spoiled me rotten and I learned so much from him on a daily basis. He was always there to help me with my homework, quiz me for tests, teach me to drive at age 12, etc etc.
You shouldn’t feel like less of a man. I feel being a real father makes you a better man. Your friends are the ones who shouldn’t judge you, but support you, moreso than anyone else. Be there for your son and your daughter. Teach them things they wouldn’t learn anywhere else but from you.
You’ll find it’ll help them in the long-run. At 22 year old, 5 feet tall, I’m a professional driver with a CDL…all because my daddy taught me when I was 12.
January 27th, 2010 at 9:41 am
NO, it frankly makes you more of a man for putting your priorities first… which is your family !!!.
When I was still with my ex, I would have gladly had quit my job to take care of my 2 sons. The main reason is because she wasn’t doing any of it. She had others coming in to watch them while we worked & brought home the $$.
The ONLY time she stayed home was if they were sick.
And if I was sick, I basically still had to keep watching them while spreading my germs to them which was unsmart.
All she cared about was bringing home that $$.
I took care of the oldest for the most part of the first year of his life – feeding, bathing, etc. because she had NO feelings for him… or so she said.
Where are all the good moms anymore ??
January 27th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Staying at home raising your son…what an incredible opportunity to train him to be a man by modeling it for him! Every minute of every day that you get to be with him, raising him, training him is precious time that you wouldn’t otherwise have if you were spending 10 – 12 hours a day working behind a desk.
When your daughter is grown up and looks for a husband, she will think about all the time you spent with her and all the things she learned from you as a result. Then she’ll use you as the measuring stick by which to choose a mate. Do you suppose she’ll say, “I wish my dad spent less time with me”?
Take it from a girl who didn’t have a dad like you. I wish my father had cared enough to spend time raising me instead of being a tough guy.
Hold your head up high and be proud of the fact that you love your children enough to be unconventional and that you and your wife are doing what’s best for YOUR family. It matters not what others think.
Blessings and peace to you.
January 27th, 2010 at 10:56 am
HECK NO
Your a real man in my opinion. You put your children before your Friends. That’s what real men do. Remember it’s nice to have friends, but family is for a lifetime. It’s my opinion that children have the best chance of success with a loving parent home with them.
Good for you
Keep it up.
January 27th, 2010 at 11:00 am
More of a man! You’re being sensible. My hubby always wished it was him at home rather than me but as he was the bigger wage earner, it made sense that way. Just like you 2.
At first we both worked and he went to nursery until he started school, but then it was important for me to get a parttime job and be there for him more.
Your friends are probably just secretly jealous!
Sounds like you have a well adjusted, happy, contented life – the life most people strive to find.
So don’t fix it when it’s not broken, Mr ex-mechanic!!!
January 27th, 2010 at 11:22 am
No there is nothing wrong with that, I raised my son as a single dad, then remarried and now am raising a 4 year old daughter and my wife and I share in her care. My wife runs the store and I stay home two days a week and deal with Aeris. I help her with getting snacks, I changed diapers before she was potty trained, and I held her when she was hurt or scared. I still do, it’s called being a daddy. If your wife can work and make enough to pay the bills and keep things going then more power to you. It’s not going to make you less of a man as some would say. God knows your heart and that is what matters, don’t let others influence your decision. It’s the years you will look back on and have a great laugh.
January 27th, 2010 at 11:57 am
No way!! Not at all! I really think the tough job of housewife/husband is undervalued these days, along with childcare in general. Unless you have worked in this field or have been a stay at home parent, you really have no idea!
I think you should be proud of yourself. After all, you do have the most important job on the planet – nurturing, teaching and loving.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Not at all Pop, lets face it, if teaching pays double the salary as a mechanic does, then go for it.
I bet you have a good garage with all your tools in it.
So whats the harm of doing the odd job or two while all those modern contraptions that make housework a dream earn their keep.
Yep, if I was in that position I would do exactly that mate.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
NO WAY!! Keep up the great work!!!
January 27th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
I think it is far better for the wife to work and the dad to care for the children than it is for both parents to work and to put the children into daycare or have them babysat or whatever.
stay home, look after your children and love them like no daycare or child minder could. If your friends hassel you tell them they are in awe of the amount of work you do for no money, or are envious of the time you get to spend with your children. If they continue to think less of them, then try to forgive them, but true friends won’t think less of you.
January 27th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
I think stay at home dads are great. Its becoming more common for a dad to stay home. Don’t worry what your friends think. I think it makes you more of a man. Plus with auto mechanic experience as your daughter gets older and you have some more free time at home, you could get some side jobs without having to leave the house. My husband stayed home with our daughter for a few months and he loved it. And my dad who is a tool and die maker always wanted to stay home with me but he wasn’t allowed. I think its awesome that you’re a stay at home dad!!