Wives: How do you feel about your hubby being a stay-at-home dad?
ByI’m researching this the topic of stay-at-home dads. Many seem to pooh-pooh the idea, but I’m interested to find out what you women think. Would you encourage your husbands to be stay-at-home dads? Or would you prefer to let them be the breadwinners? And why?
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35 Comments
January 26th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I would hope your answers were relative to the families they came from. That is, some people will be happier breadwinning, some will be happier at home, and THAT’S what makes the decision, not the genders.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
did it, and it worked great. its a full time job being a MR. MOM. and i may add, my ex did it great! best dad, cook and housekeeper i ever did see.
January 26th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
i would be for it……i am the breadwinner for our family ……he works but is home more than i am and makes less than i do
January 26th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
I’m not married but I wouldnt mind.
I hate domestic work, so I would love to be able to work and have my spouse take care of the household needs. I really dont care for children, but I would have them if my spouse agreed to stay at home and care for them.
Some may see it as whimpy but I don’t.
A judge I used to work for has a stay at home hubby and she loves it.
It works for them and I’m sure it works for a lot of couples…
January 26th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
it would be good to have a stay-at-home dad if you had small children. he could see what the women go thru and how hard they work at home. i bet you he would go back to the work place pronto!!!
January 26th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
I would lose respect for him. We both work. It takes 2 incomes to get by these days. I am not going to support an able bodied adult male.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
I can earn more than my fella so why shouldn’t I go to work. I seem to enjoy work more than him, and he prefers to stay at home and “relax”, look after the kids and do the housework.
When I get in of an evening, I eat my meal then I have my time with the children while he watches TV or a movie for a bit, then we both take the kids to bed, read them a story.
Then we have some time together and I go to bed.
Works fine for us…
January 26th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
My husband was never one, but I am guessing I would resent it. We both work, but I would love to be able to stay at home with my kids. I am sure different people have different opinions though.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
that is the plan for my hubby and i. he is in the army and doesnt get alot of time to spend with the family, so as soon as he gets out, he will be the stay at home parent, and I will work full time. I love the idea, but that could be just because of the army and all the time he misses away from home. good luck with your research!
January 26th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
I would want him to be the bread winner of the family… And taking care of business at home…
January 26th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
i think no man she be a stay at home dad the woman should take that place,because really all men and woman should have a job just to say that they spilt up and who gets the money the woman because she was the one working or the man who was working.thats how i feel.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
I think it’s basic math. Whoever makes the most money should responsibly be the one to keep their job. However, that’s assuming anyone HAS to stay home in the first place.
If it’s agreed upon that one person will stay home then the person making less should, if they can accept responsibilities that go with that. Shopping, most chores, keeping up education and school functions and possibly after school activities. It’s a tough job for any gender so each person is making sacrifices.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
It depends, Personally I am a very independant female so I wouldn’t mind!!
January 26th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
I think if thats what works for your family, go for it. My bro-in-law is a stay at home dad, while my sister-in-law works outside the home full time. He is an artist and farmer (very small farm) so his schedule is more flexible and that has worked out well for them and their 2 children.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
I would rather my bloke went out to work if we had kids, only because he has a much better stable job than me and it would just make sense for him to go out and for me to stay with the kids.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:48 am
As of right now, i am a stay at home mom. My boyfriend is the breadwinner. If it was the other way around, i wouldn’t mind at all. The number one reason being, that staying at home is just like a job, you just don’t actually leave for work in the morning. Sometimes i’m actually envious of my boyfriend’s job. He gets to get out of the house and go to work. He gets to take breaks when he wants, then his day is over at a set time. My day is very different. I’m home with the baby, which i really do enjoy. All though, i can’t just take a break when i feel like it, everything you do revolves around the baby. I have to wait to eat, and shower. When the baby is whining, a lot, i wish i could escape to a normal job sometimes. Then when my boyfriend gets out of work, i’m still on duty until the baby goes to sleep. All in all, we both really do hard work, and i appreciate what he does, and he appreciates what i do.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:51 am
if i could make enough money to pay for everything…HELL YES i’d love for him to stay home with the kids. he’s far better at it than i am…..and my house would be cleaner……lol
January 27th, 2010 at 1:20 am
I cannot wait for that to be our experience! My hubby is military and gone all the time so I am the SAHM. He retires in 6 years…so it will be my time to go out and support the family. I am getting my degree now and we will always have his retirement pay to help out. We both love the idea!
January 27th, 2010 at 1:33 am
I wouldn’t want my DH to be a sahd. He would just leave them at his sisters and go fishing all day LOL
January 27th, 2010 at 2:10 am
Well, I love my husband, but he would be a horrible stay at home dad. He would spend all his time watching tv and playing video games and when I got home I would still have to clean up the house. However, he is a very intelligent man and makes an excellent salary at his job. Our lives will run much smoother if he works and I stay at home. Plus he just wouldn’t have the same connection with the kids as I would. When they have a boo-boo, kids want their mom’s, not Dad. I have no problems with a stay at home dad, I just don’t think the man I picked would be very good at it. I also do not think he would feel fulfilled in life. He wants to get out there and bring home a good paycheck so I can run the house. It is just what we were taught to do, and we do it quite well. I think a roll reversal would just mess us up.
January 27th, 2010 at 2:21 am
In my religion it’s the man’s job to provide for the family even if the mother makes more then the father. I’m a housewife with no kids yet and no I wouldn’t like my husband staying at home. We respect our traditional roles in society.
January 27th, 2010 at 2:28 am
My husband is a man who adores his children. Unfortunately, he is easily distracted and hates being seen as the controlling type. I took on a part-time job, put my children’s clothes out at night and when I went to pick up my daughter from nursery, she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. In November. And there was snow on the ground. He honestly could not see why she didn’t have the knowledge or understanding to appreciate that couldn’t judge what she should or should not wear. That kind of thing happened for a while. If he had full charge of our children, I don’t think they would ever brush their teeth, see a dentist or an orthodontist. I think they would suffer, so I wouldn’t do it. Ever.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:03 am
My hubby and i are pretty traditional, so i say NO WAY! He’s happy working and making the money and while i wouldn’t mind working part-time, i’d never want to be the sole bread winner while hubby’s at home w the kids…i feel that’s my job. I WANT to spend most of my time w then kids.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:20 am
I am a Stay at Home Dad. My daugher was born seven months ago, and I have been home with her ever since. When my wife and I first talked about it, I was not sure. We both have good careers, both have MBA’s, but the difference was I already lived out most of my dreams, while she is just starting to.
It is not an easy pill to swallow, very old fashioned people will look at you like you are less of a man becase you let your wife bring home the paycheck. However, you need to be a bigger man and not take their comments to heart. I actaully find the more and more I take my daugher to the mall during the day, there is a dad just like me sitting in the food court, giving his child their bottle.
My wife often tells me I do a better job than she would being home all day. The baby is changed, fed and happy, the laundry is done, the house is clean and dinner is on the table.
I often tell people being a Stay at Home Dad is more challenging than when I was an Investment Banker on Wall Street. I am exhausted by the time my wife gets home, I barely have the energy to go to the gym at night.
The greatest part of my new job is that I get to spend quality time with my daughter. These seven months we have formed a special bond; will she remember these months we had together? Probably not, but I will!
January 27th, 2010 at 4:16 am
I would love it… my husband is an awesome dad! After I get done with school, we should be able for this to happen. I love being a home, too, but the kind of income I will be generating, it makes more sense for him to stay home. And he wants to stay home, too.
January 27th, 2010 at 4:27 am
I think it’s wonderful for dads to stay home with their kids if the moms want to be the ones at work. My husband was a stay at home dad for a while, and he really liked it for a while. In our situation, I just happened to make more money than him anyway, so it was a no-brainer and he was happy to do it. Men have traditionally been thought of as the money-makers and the women as the home-makers, but I think it’s good for kids and other adults to see dads taking on that role (as stay at home dad). It helps people open their minds a little too. Plus, I think it’s good for the kids to get some of their care and nurturing from their dad too… it can’t always be mom. Then the kids are getting influenced by both parents, not just one.
January 27th, 2010 at 5:26 am
If I had young children and a job that made way more money than my husband could make, then yes, he could stay home and take care of the kids. He would have to do all the home stuff, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. If switching positions works, then it has to be a complete switch.
January 27th, 2010 at 5:30 am
As Long as we could manage financially and He took care of the kids I would not mind
January 27th, 2010 at 5:50 am
There is NOTHING wrong with role reversal in the male staying at home and the woman working outside the home, whether there are children to raise or not. This is the day of equal opportunity. Look at the show “Whose the Boss” where Tony worked for the woman as housekeeper and child care.
My hubby stopped working and I continued to work to the consternation of many family members. But it worked. I loved my job and he did the majority of housework and all the yardwork. We shared in other areas like laundry. He did everything but dusting and windows LOL
If we had children and hubby wanted to stay home with them, it would have been great with me. My feminine side would have not been insulted and I could do the role modeling after work and on weekends, a good role model for female children to be what you can be regardless of gender.
This is not the 1950’s and today men and women should and most do share in the equal raising of the children, especially if both have jobs to provide the lifestyle they want for their family. And with the high cost of child care, if the Dad wants to be the one at home, why not? Who said that females made the best parent?
January 27th, 2010 at 6:17 am
My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I love it! He truly feels that he is “called” to do this right now, so he is not bitter or missing his career. He is fantastic with the kids, and he is very structured with their schedule. He keeps the house clean and provides a variety of activities to enrich them.
I like working and would not be happy at home, so I feel I have the best of both worlds. I can work, but I don’t have to put my kids in daycare.
I have so many friends that say they are jealous that one of us stays home. They wish they could afford to do that (but they live in big houses they can’t afford and drive two new cars). As far as finances go…we don’t live beyond our means. We have a nice, but modest home and don’t need two incomes to pay the bills. There are so many things more important than money and impressing people with material things!
January 27th, 2010 at 7:16 am
I encourage all men to at least try to stay at home. If only they could learn to appreciate the role. I think that in this day and age there is nothing wrong with a man staying at home. Or being “working dads” where both parents work. Working moms have a job and still come home and parent. Whether the dad is working in or outside of the home or is a house husband men should be and are taking a more active hands on approach to parenting and domestic duties. With the rise of single fathers this benefits not only the mothers (who get a break ) but also the children who learn from their parents examples. If for some reason your son grew up and was in a situation where he was the primary caregiver to his children he would need all the same skills and knowledge we pass on the our daughters. On a different note, until we get equal pay for equal work it also financially makes more sense for the man to be the bread winner.
January 27th, 2010 at 7:43 am
my husband always jokes about me making the money so he can stay home with the kids. I don’t see that happening ever because when we both worked 40 hour a week jobs he still would not do dishes so I don’t think he could hack it at home all the time. I would be ok with it if he would I think more men should do it. Kids need more father figures involved.
January 27th, 2010 at 8:27 am
If it’s fine for you two, what’s the problem?
January 27th, 2010 at 9:26 am
I am a SAHM, so I would prefer it that way. My husbands uncle is a SAHD though, and I see no problem in it. I guess I prefer to be the one to stay home because I feel more secure with my husband being the bread winner. If he were to stay home and I was to work I wouldn’t feel as secure (I think, it hasn’t happened since we have had children so I’m not sure). I guess it would depend on my job though.
January 27th, 2010 at 9:28 am
My boyfriend works a week on and a week off so he is more or less a stay at home Dad- well every 9 days out of 14. Believe me- women have always had the traditional role of staying at home because men can not multi-task. Any by multi-task I mean having the washing machine and dishwasher running simultaneously. My son has benefited from having his Dad home- he can now build a fort out of the couch- yet not put it back as a couch after, he can play the xbox way better, and he’s a dab hand at making toast.